The Lighter Side of the VA Trip.

(I will finish the other one later.)

VA Trip

Skunks are bad, they are NOT your friends.
About 3 Starbucks trips.
Sketch-city RR stop.
Dinner at a smelly Wendy's.
Random "friend" chit-chats.
Scary fog (Scary frog) ((Scary tree)).
"Oh, I didn't know we were going to the mountains!"
"Look at him passing me like a maniac. Why didn't I think of that?"
3 point turns in mid traffic
Su madre.
Su madre loco.
"I pissed it, oops I mean I missed it!"
Nurkle head.
"Now hiring 3 BBQ bacon jack melts (for 3.99)."
Today, I learned how to stop at crosswalks.
"McDonald's, Eat Fresh!"
"He had some fuzzy thing sticking out from his butt."
"YOU are the froth of my coffee."
"YOU are the caramel of my latte."
Oh, toilet seats.
"I don't know if he knows or not, but it's clear glass."

Okay, so if you didn't know, my sis had a doctor appointment at UVa on Thursday, so me ma and her took off and had a blast. The testing went well, but just keep her in your prayers! :)

Fabulous!

"Love is stronger than any addiction. . . hell, it is one" - Madea

If there is one thing I have learned from a movie, it has to be from Madea. Yeah, she/he whatever is a strange character, but her quotes and thoughts have to be the greatest thing I have heard. Great times.

There have been a few things lately that I have really been struggling with. I feel like a teeter-totter. . . you know, at one point you and Abba are right there together and your allowing him to guide you, and then right after that you are back where you started and are trying to do things on your own. Well, as I was talking about this to Him, this song continues to come to mind. . . I included the majority of the lyrics:

**When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

When I know I’ve sinned when I should have been
Crying out my God and hidden in you
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by**

I know the only way I will ever make it through is to take time just to sit, just to listen and to hear what my Maker is telling me. . . I have to keep telling myself that I can't do it on my own and everytime I feel that way, this song keeps coming to mind and it allows me to remember to sit and to listen and to stop trying to do things my way.

I have had a great first few weeks of school. Its amazing the difference in commuting and living on campus. I love my roomate, I couldnt have asked for a better one! I have made some great friends, and continued to develop friendships with ones from before.

I got the chance to have a conversation with a friend the other night, and we were just talking about risks and why its good to take them sometimes. I haven't been a big risk taker lately. . . I guess its out of fear of being hurt again. One thing he told me though was basically that I will never get over that fear of getting hurt unless I put myself in a place where there are possibilities. No, its not saying that I should hold up a sign that says "I am ready for disaster" but it is telling me that I should just put the past behind me and look at today. Yeah, the past seems to still be around, for instance a phone call the other morning that about made me wet myself. . .but who knows. . . I won't unless I take a risk. . .or for better word, a chance. Take that opportunity and go with it. (When I am given the opportunity, I will know, and then I can go with it!)

I miss caswell. I miss the family feeling, my kids, the long walks or jogs on the beach when I needed "me" time. . . I miss the feeling of being home there. But I tell you what, I may not be there right now, but it is definately in my heart and constantly in my thoughts. I guess the roads of Buies Creek for my "me" time is good enough. :)

Well its pretty late. . . starting to sound like my friieenndd staying up so late. By the way, great guy. Amazing guy. (I mean, he fits my standards hehe). Anyway, hopefully I will get to write again soon. . . well this is kind of a long one, so it may be a while!

Fabulous!

An Update

School is going great. Enjoying every minute of it. Already worn out, but thats how it goes. I am debating now on whether or not I want to double major. I was talking to my ma about it and she thinks it would be a good idea cause I could do it, but I think now my issue is getting past the talking about it part and actually getting into the classes. Pretty much it might only take a semester or so, but once I get past the actually getting into the major I will be okay. But til then. . .

The weather has been phenominal the past two days. Yeah, I know its been that tropical hurricane thing. . . but have you looked at the sky? Its been beautiful. There were a bunch of really grey clouds but over some trees there was blue sky and the sun was peeking through. Absolutely fabulous.

"Something so great, you just cant keep it to yourself." He is amazing. I miss him tons. Yeah, I don't like to admit it, because I definately don't want another heartbreak. . . and its not like he is 5 bagillion miles away. Anyway. . . just gotta keep telling myself that if our paths are meant to cross, then they will.

Respect is something I think needs to be earned. Once earned it can be lost. Can be lost quick. I am not a fan of the church kid-school kid appearance. I personally believe that you should be one way all the time. It honestly doesnt bother me which way, cause at least you are one person all the time. But this past week I have definately lost a bit of respect to a few people I actually looked up to at one point in time. Kinda sad, but I know as long as I stay one way all the time, I am okay.

Well I guess this is all for now. . . will try to get another update soon!

Fabulous!

One Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion.
And give me one magnificent obsession.
Give me one glorious ambition for my life.
To know and to follow hard after you.

To know and follow hard after you,
To grow as your disciple in your truth.
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on, and I will run after you.


I want a pure, passion. I want what was placed in my heart. A passion to follow and to lead the way that I have been told. Given all that I have been given, my return should be to use it to glorify Him. To grow in truth. Run. Find your passion. Run with it.

Fabulous!

Haha, School.

I get to move into school tomorrow. Big changes, not the school part, but the living there part. I commuted last year, just for the fun of it, but this year I have a dorm room with a roomate and a bunch of other girls. I know I won't have any problems and that I will be fine, but its the fact that pretty much, I am moving out. I will be back yeah, but it won't be the same. I am excited however. Big chance to continue to grow up, to establish who I am and what I am. Its gonna be good. I actually can't wait, but on the other hand, yes I can.

This guy is amazing. Don't quite know why he was brought in my life, but I don't regret one second since I met him. He has such a huge heart, which is something I absolutely adore. Yeah, he is a guy, but hello, I don't expect him to be any different. I just hope that if we are supposed to be together that I will be who I need to be for him. My Maker had/has plans for this, and whatever it is, I have to keep control of my head. Can't lose it. Don't want to lose it, unless its like a metaphor and I am losing my head over him. :) (Good thing, ps)

Camp is over. Back to the real world. No Caswell bubble anymore. I went and worked a bit with my job at school today and can't believe how much I missed it. I love the interaction with people. Yeah, its a pretty lame job, and I get to work with fun people, haha jk, but I do love it. I think I start back at DQ on monday, which is good, tiring, but good. I miss it there too. Again, the interaction with people. Yeah, at Caswell I did interact, but with children, and as much as I loved it and want to continue to do that, interaction with people my own age is a bit different. School will be great this semester. I may be completely exhausted after two jobs, full class load, and a bunch of late nights with a special friiieeennndd. . . which btw, I can't wait to see. Its gonna be good and I am pumped.

Well I guess thats it for today. Move in tomorrow, may not be able to write again for a bit, but since when is that ever an issue? :)

Fabulous!

One More Day

"Last Night I had a crazy dream
Wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money, or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with you

One more day, One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again; I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone, and keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second, say a million I Love You's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day, One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again; I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

One more day, One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again; I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day....
Leave me wishing still, for one more day With you."


This song happened to come up the last day of camp. While packing, I had borrowed a friieennd of mine's cd's of his choirs singing and all of a sudden this song plays. Well it took me a few minutes, but then I realized it was him who was the soloist in this song. It was phenominal. Well, either way, this song now holds a true meaning. I keep wishing for one more day. One more time. You get the picture. But it is also true in saying that it would leave me wishing still for one more day.

Since when is one more day not good enough? Every day is a blessing. We should be thankful for the days we have. For those sunsets, friendships, all of those blessings. Makes me sad, yes, because I do wish to see him often, but I had a fabulous summer and even though we are now far away, I still hold those moments together close to me so that eventually I will learn that there is no need to wish for another day.

Just some thoughts.

Fabulous!

Reflections?

*There is this song about "Do they see Jesus in me?" and it has actually just popped in my head. Sometimes I go on just knowing what my Maker can do for me and just thinking about it, but then there are times where I don't feel it at all. Times where we can sing a song about him and get "God bumps" and know that he is right there and being able to feel Him right there with me, and then there are those other times where I know He is able to do anything and that I can count and call on Him for the desires of my heart, but I only know that. Don't feel it. I encourage those who read this to make sure you find your Maker in all that you do. Don't just go through the motions of knowing it, but truely feel it.

*This is the last full day of Camp Seabreeze. No more after today until possibly next summer. I am completely excited, yet completely exhausted. I fell asleep looking at stars last night and barely remember coming back to get in my bed. I honestly don't think I made it into the covers, lol. I have tried to give as much as I can and it has definately drained me. But thats okay. My purpose here is not to catch up on some sleep, or to make sure I am happy or even okay, but to be here for the kids that come everyday to Camp Seabreeze and want to be able to enjoy the summer they have. So as it is time for our last day, and then one and a half more I am back home. Back home to go back to the hard long days of school and working, and trying to fit everything in. It will probably be just as hard as it is here, but I can guarantee it will be a whole new idea. Summer is almost over and I have enjoyed every last second of it.

*I am gonna miss my twin from here. She is so great. We have so much in common and have had a blast this summer. Yeah, there are a few hard times. . . or may I say, hard people. . . to work with, but after a few nights at San Felipe and McDonald's trips, I think we have overcome it and allowed us to enjoy the summer with no major issues. Its gonna be hard though, cause she definately lives in Florida and goes to Gardner-Webb, but it works. Many, many, many road trips will be made!

*There is a boy. No I do not like him, and yep, thats probably a lie, but I have to tell myself that. He is such a great guy, with a great heart and he loves Jesus, but there is something about him that, I dont know, but there is something that everyone sees on the outside but when getting to know him, some of the things he portrays are not really anything like him. No, I don't want to date him, well, for one, I still get that nervous stomach feeling when I think about it, and two, I have to wait and see if its a God thing or not. He is a neat guy and friends with him are probably the best thing. . . it is the best thing.

*Last thing. I am going home to a mess. I miss my ma and my sister terribly, along with my church family, but things that I get to go back to I am kinda dreading. I get to go back to two great leaders of the church leaving, and then to a friend that has completely lost his mind and has moved away, and then a school financial issues, which I know every college kid deals with. . . but to look at it the way I do is okay, because one thing I have learned to do is to trust that my Maker can handle it and that there is nothing going to go on that doesn't have a purpose.

Thanks for listening. . . definately a 40 minute blog, lol.

Fabulous!

Almost The End

Well summer is almost over. . . we took our staff picture this morning (which btw I def don't look good in a polo) and we have started week 9. It has been fabulous. God has taught me so much about Him and how I should be working for Him and not for me, and that He is my Anchor. I feel like I have grown up a lot this summer, not just having to live on my own but also just in the things I have learned. I have learned never to leave your bottle of hair gel on the counter and take a nap during staff house clean up because then it will get thrown away. . . I will never again eat the pork from our cafe. . . I will learn that 8:30 is a fabulous time to get up and never complain about the early morning. . . and I will learn that a friendship is worth so much more than anything else, but I am def still working on that! :) It has been a great summer. We have had this ONE summer to do our ONE mission with this ONE staff, and I couldn't have been given a better one. I am looking forward to this year. . . a year filled with new things and a new outlook on something from before, but one thing I don't think I will ever forget is the people I have met this summer, the relationships that were built, and the memories of things I could never explain in words.

Caswell 2006
Ephesians 4:1-7

Fabulous!

Life is good.

Things are getting better all the time. . . I just have to remember now that it is not me that makes it that way. It is my Maker, and ALL Him. Def need tons of sleep and some Jessica time, but that will happen this weekend. Pray hard. Gotta make it through the week. Love my job, but growing weary. Sad day!!

Fabulous!

Questions. . .

I def have a question. . . this past week or so, I have been really struggling with my past. . . and getting over my past or what not. There are things that I know I have been forgiven for, but it still lingers, and I almost feel like I'm not worthy of being forgiven or whatever. I know I messed up and I know I will again, but how can I feel like its going to be okay? Just really bothering me that I feel like I can't forgive myself.


Pray. . . I know thats my answer. My Maker is fabulous. You should meet Him. :)


Fabulous!

Thoughts

Camp is great. I absolutely love it. I have had a great week, which was my first week of campers. They have been great, and I know the rest of the summer will be fabulous.

I am really a chicken. I don't really want to make a commitment, or get too involved that I get hurt. I don't want another heartbreak. But who knows. A good friend of mine told me that if both of us are looking up we will know if our paths are supposed to come together or not. But who will ever know if we aren't looking up?

I burnt my nose. It hurts. Will be wearing more sunscreen on there from now on!

I love home. I miss home. My ma and sis are coming here in 2 weeks. I can't wait. I am soooo excited. I really do miss home, but I def know this is exactly where my Maker wants me to do.

Length is a human term, not God's.

Either way, I hope this updates a bit. We will find out I guess. Don't really know who the anon. commenter is, but it kinda scares me. :)

Thanks!

Fabulous!

I know I just posted, but I am in the middle of my 3rd day of Caswell, and I have to say its fabulous. I am meeting tons of new people, and absolutley love my job. I may not do it again, cause its def a hard one, but I know I will enjoy it this summer. My job is camp seabreeze, and I get to work with kindergarten and first graders. . . which is great, but either way. I am having fun, and would love to hear from you!

Ps if you want my addres syou have to call or ask my sis :)

I would love to hear from you. . . so you should write or call or whatnot. :) Yall have fun and know I miss you tons!!


Fabulous!

Have a fantastic summer!

I'm gone! Fort Caswell for the summer!! If you want my address, my sis (krssybutns on aim) will have it for you if you call her and suck up! Have fun!
Jess

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10 days

I have less than 10 days left til I go to camp. I don't even think I could describe the feelings that I am feeling right now. So excited, yet nervous. I hope I am good at this job. I love kids! I love the beach! I think this would be okay.

Well I just thought I would write. . . have a great week!

Fabulous!

It is well, With my soul

There was this guy. He had 5 kids and a wonderful wife. His only son, who was 4, he lost because of scarlet fever. The other 4, obviously girls, and his wife were on a ship one day to meet up with him. Well, the ship wrecked with another ship, and sadly he lost his 4 girls. His wife survived. Later, he and his wife were on their way to another place, and the captain of the ship called him aside and said that they were now passing over the place where the other ship had gone down. The man went to his cabin, but found it hard to sleep. He said to himself "It is well; the will of God be done."

When peace like a river, attendeth my way. When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say "It is well, It is well, with my soul." My sin, O the bliss of this glorious tho't, My sin not in part but the whole is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul! O, Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound and the Lord shall decend, "Even so" it is well with my soul. It is well, with my soul, It is well, It is well, with my soul.

Fabulous!