“Don’t hate me because I’m an asshole.” Please excuse my words, however, this is exactly how it was spoken and meant exactly as it sounds. But, those are seven words that surly makes a girl think. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be upset or even angry with someone who tells me not to hate him because that’s just how he is; like I should have known that before we ever met? 8 years and that’s the last thing that was said.
The whole point of a relationship is loyalty and trust, right? So, whether it is friendship or a dating relationship, it still remains the same. Love comes later, that’s not what I’m talking about. When I tell someone that I can’t be “just friends” and hang out whenever we want or be around one another, because I want more. The response is “note taken”. However, coming over only one day after that was said should tell me what? That you agree that we should be more than just friends, or what is it? I still think that this is it . . . and I will. I guess until something changes my mind.
I try not to think so much about the little things, but when something really matters to me, why shouldn’t I think about it? Lots on my plate; might as well enjoy each part. It makes me wonder sometimes . . . will it end up like Carrie and Big, or more as Jules and Michael.
I have worked specifically on two things this past month. The first is to walk everyday and work on getting back into my bikini body, and ready for summer. I have done pretty well so far, walking everyday . . . and the handsome guys at the end of the street certainly make it a little bit easier! I’m losing a little, but still more to get rid of before I’m ready for my green suit.
The second, I am trying to prove wrong a very unfavorable man that told me that I wasn’t a fit teacher, and that I didn’t get adequate training, and that he was surprised I graduated college with an elementary degree instead of being a lateral entry teacher. He also told me that my example of a boat moving with the wind wasn’t fit for my kids. I guess, according to him, I am not supposed to be a teacher. However. I disagree. Completely. I have lived my whole life so far to be a teacher, and according to the tiny differences I can already see, and the passion I have in my heart that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I couldn’t be more thankful and appreciative of the encouragement the staff at my school has been to me, even my boss. So I guess, it’s just one more thing trying to get me to stray from what my true calling is. I don’t think I would love it so much if it wasn’t what I was supposed to do.
Hot mess.
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