Friday, November 05, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Joe and Stella
There's a storm coming up
And I gotta prepare myself
'Cause this feeling is getting stronger everyday
Something's creeping inside
Everything is about to change
Gotta face the fact that I can't walk away
This is critical, I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep when you're not with me
Baby, you're the air I breathe
This is critical, yeahh
So stuck on you
Used to have everything figured out
But it's different now
When you came, you saw
You conquered my heart
It's your laugh and your smile
Wanna stay for a little while
I don't wanna go
I just want you in my arms
This is critical, I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep when you're not with me
Baby, you're the air I breathe
This is critical, yeahh
So stuck on you
Used to run and hide
Used to bend our love
But I can't escape this time,
Ohnooo...
This is critical, I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep when you're not with me
Baby, you're the air I breathe
This is critical, yeahh
Baby, it's so critical
Baby, it's so critical
It's so critical
So stuck on you
-Nick Jonas
And I do wish Joe and Stella would get together. ;)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
K.I.S.S it
Why do we make the simple things a bigger deal rather than taking it at its value?
For example, a "diet" should be eat when you're hungry, and stop when you are not hungry. Simple right? But we make it such a bigger deal. . . snacking all day and eating because you feel like you have to. And then you look in the mirror and decide that you eat too much and go on a diet that causes you to take out all of your favorite fattening foods, which in turn causes you to miss them and crave them so much that your diet has produced the opposite effect: splurging and overeating.
So, my point is, don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Keep it simple stupid (KISS it). And really, don't let the simple things take over your life. Not worth the stress we make it out to be.
PS:, I'm firing my brain on Saturdays.
For example, a "diet" should be eat when you're hungry, and stop when you are not hungry. Simple right? But we make it such a bigger deal. . . snacking all day and eating because you feel like you have to. And then you look in the mirror and decide that you eat too much and go on a diet that causes you to take out all of your favorite fattening foods, which in turn causes you to miss them and crave them so much that your diet has produced the opposite effect: splurging and overeating.
So, my point is, don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Keep it simple stupid (KISS it). And really, don't let the simple things take over your life. Not worth the stress we make it out to be.
PS:, I'm firing my brain on Saturdays.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
You're Not Who I Thought You Were
I’m going to ramble at first, because it gets everything out that I want to say and then makes sense of it later . . . sometimes.
Talk, wish, comfort, love, and change:
[5 topics that take a lot of considerations. . . however, when you’re in my head, its like I think about them often and almost always in the same way. For example, I think about how much I talk and always say too much and that sometimes I definitely stick my foot in my mouth, which leads me to thinking that maybe I could find a shooting star, because they always feel like encouragement to me, and then I think about how much I fell into love watching those beautiful stars and argue with myself about it because I messed it up, then I think about how I get too comfortable with where I am and how I am okay with my life, and think about how much I shouldn’t be comfortable with my life and that I am supposed to be in Gods word so that I am growing and changing and developing a deeper understanding of what my purpose is for my life. . . which then I ask questions to fix it or change it, and talk to this crazy guy I am [infatuated] with . . . which in turn I talk too much, and you get the idea.]
Let me break it down:
I talk a lot. I have this disease, its called “open mouth, insert foot”. . . which means when I do talk, I actually say too much and then mess up what I originally was trying to say. . .which is never fun. And I definitely try to change that as much as I can, which in the end, leads me to keeping everything in . . . . So it’s just this unending cycle of things to say. I asked a friend why he is able to stay so quiet and just doesn’t talk so much, and he said he didn’t say much anyway. .. Which makes me wonder, is it better to stay quiet and not say anything? Or to talk a lot and regret what you say later? Well, of course the obvious answer is to create a balance . . . which is definitely possible, just never fun! I think that if I am able to use that “trap door” that tells you what to say out loud after you said it in your head; it would create a better balance, and certainly allow the avoiding of the “open mouth- insert foot” disease.
I loved wishing on stars . . . well I still love wishing on stars. My favorite thing about Caswell was that I could lie on the forts and see all of the stars in the sky. It was not only a reminder of how great our Maker is, but also a feeling of happiness that comes from just relaxing watching them. I also love seeing shooting stars, and even though it’s silly to wish on them, it still gives a little excitement to wish on a star and only hope for it to come true. A lot of my wishes have come true, even though I can’t give credit to the stars, but only to the one who created them. [One of my favorite 1vs1000 memories]
I’ve talked a lot about being comfortable and asked a few friends about what it means to be comfortable, and how do you get out of the comfortableness of everyday life. I say this in reference to sins and how I can get so comfortable with my sin that it no longer feels like I am sinning. For example, someone can get so caught up in lies that they no longer recognize they are lying. Say I get so used to telling everyone something that it convinces me to think that I am good at it. It’s like lying becomes convincing, until you recognize that it was originally a lie. It makes you a liar. My point is that sometimes we need to recognize when we are getting comfortable in our sin, but now it’s a persistent action that feels like it belongs in our life, when really, it’s not what we were created to be. We are created to be images of our Maker. When we give in to sin and what we know is not according to God’s plan for our lives, it makes us less of an image. It’s funny too, because it is not our job to point out other people’s choices for their lives. I can’t tell you when I think you are wrong, and I have no right to. I am only the judge of my own life. I just urge you to find out and search your heart to see if you have become comfortable . . . not to become unhappy, but to be changed.
Love isn’t something I am good at, or even able to share much about . . . however, I can tell you that I did find out that a friend of mine looks to examples of love and what it is, and as I do the same, I hope to find it for me some day.
Anyway, I have had a lot on my mind and on my heart . . . oh, and change is always inevitable. Just gotta wait for the right timing. [You’ll know]
Fabulous.
Talk, wish, comfort, love, and change:
[5 topics that take a lot of considerations. . . however, when you’re in my head, its like I think about them often and almost always in the same way. For example, I think about how much I talk and always say too much and that sometimes I definitely stick my foot in my mouth, which leads me to thinking that maybe I could find a shooting star, because they always feel like encouragement to me, and then I think about how much I fell into love watching those beautiful stars and argue with myself about it because I messed it up, then I think about how I get too comfortable with where I am and how I am okay with my life, and think about how much I shouldn’t be comfortable with my life and that I am supposed to be in Gods word so that I am growing and changing and developing a deeper understanding of what my purpose is for my life. . . which then I ask questions to fix it or change it, and talk to this crazy guy I am [infatuated] with . . . which in turn I talk too much, and you get the idea.]
Let me break it down:
I talk a lot. I have this disease, its called “open mouth, insert foot”. . . which means when I do talk, I actually say too much and then mess up what I originally was trying to say. . .which is never fun. And I definitely try to change that as much as I can, which in the end, leads me to keeping everything in . . . . So it’s just this unending cycle of things to say. I asked a friend why he is able to stay so quiet and just doesn’t talk so much, and he said he didn’t say much anyway. .. Which makes me wonder, is it better to stay quiet and not say anything? Or to talk a lot and regret what you say later? Well, of course the obvious answer is to create a balance . . . which is definitely possible, just never fun! I think that if I am able to use that “trap door” that tells you what to say out loud after you said it in your head; it would create a better balance, and certainly allow the avoiding of the “open mouth- insert foot” disease.
I loved wishing on stars . . . well I still love wishing on stars. My favorite thing about Caswell was that I could lie on the forts and see all of the stars in the sky. It was not only a reminder of how great our Maker is, but also a feeling of happiness that comes from just relaxing watching them. I also love seeing shooting stars, and even though it’s silly to wish on them, it still gives a little excitement to wish on a star and only hope for it to come true. A lot of my wishes have come true, even though I can’t give credit to the stars, but only to the one who created them. [One of my favorite 1vs1000 memories]
I’ve talked a lot about being comfortable and asked a few friends about what it means to be comfortable, and how do you get out of the comfortableness of everyday life. I say this in reference to sins and how I can get so comfortable with my sin that it no longer feels like I am sinning. For example, someone can get so caught up in lies that they no longer recognize they are lying. Say I get so used to telling everyone something that it convinces me to think that I am good at it. It’s like lying becomes convincing, until you recognize that it was originally a lie. It makes you a liar. My point is that sometimes we need to recognize when we are getting comfortable in our sin, but now it’s a persistent action that feels like it belongs in our life, when really, it’s not what we were created to be. We are created to be images of our Maker. When we give in to sin and what we know is not according to God’s plan for our lives, it makes us less of an image. It’s funny too, because it is not our job to point out other people’s choices for their lives. I can’t tell you when I think you are wrong, and I have no right to. I am only the judge of my own life. I just urge you to find out and search your heart to see if you have become comfortable . . . not to become unhappy, but to be changed.
Love isn’t something I am good at, or even able to share much about . . . however, I can tell you that I did find out that a friend of mine looks to examples of love and what it is, and as I do the same, I hope to find it for me some day.
Anyway, I have had a lot on my mind and on my heart . . . oh, and change is always inevitable. Just gotta wait for the right timing. [You’ll know]
Fabulous.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
One Versus One Thousand
We talked this morning in worship about God’s Love.
God’s love is unreasonable.
I had so many thoughts going through my head throughout the entire service. First, the Pastor said, “We don’t love people who don’t love us back”. At first, I agreed. Sure, people who don’t love me, yeah I don’t love them. . . yeah, right. Immediately after I repeated it and wrote it in my notes, I started thinking about the few people that I did love and do love, and even am in love with who might not even have a clue, or if they do, just don’t have the same mutual feelings back. I do love people who don’t love me back. And for some crazy reason, I can’t help it.
A lot of times I think about how I wish I could change my feelings; that maybe I could just replace those feelings that I’ve felt for a long time. Who knows. All I do know is that there are some people I love that I love being around and spending time with, and then there are people that I love that I just wish could change their ways. . . but that’s def a word we call hopeless.
Why is it that our love can’t be unreasonable? True love, I really believe is unreasonable. But this junk we call love now, one mistake and you’re mad at “love” and then ruin it. I’m so grateful that I am a child of a Father that loves me, a dirty, ragged sinner, more than anything else, no matter what.
God’s love is tough love sometimes.
Consequences come with poor decisions. We are allowed to make our own decisions and choices, but every one of those decisions and choices are followed by a consequence. Whether or not it’s a good consequence depends on our actions and the choice we made.
I think that the people we choose to define our life by are either good choices or bad choices. . . .who cares what other people think? If you love it, and you know its worth it, go for it. At least make the choice, rather than going by without making any choices or decisions. Always better to make a decision than to let all of them pass you by. Don’t be stagnant. . .I’m learning. That never leads to any explosion, whether good or bad, it’s a learning experience that’s worth learning from.
God’s love is unconditional.
The only love that is unconditional. If you don’t know this amazing Father I talk of, def ask me, cause you will never find another true LOVE like this one.
Anyway, the rest of the random ideas floating in my mind. . .
Th song by Duncan Shiek – Barely Breathing.
Sometimes you just wanna drop a water balloon off a roof onto someone. . . even if it only makes you feel better for a second.
You wait by the phone. . . even for a text.
Is it being lonely? Is it a crush on an idea? Or are you really crazy about that person?
You ever realize how much one small thing can impact you or even everyone around you?
Playing with Levi makes my heart happy. He loves me no matter how mad I get at him.
I miss my best friends. Bad. But I know they are where they are supposed to be. But I also guarantee I cry a lot.
1 vs. 1000. One with the one you truly care about vs 1000 with the jokers you think you care about.
Okay, I’m done for now.
Fabulous.
God’s love is unreasonable.
I had so many thoughts going through my head throughout the entire service. First, the Pastor said, “We don’t love people who don’t love us back”. At first, I agreed. Sure, people who don’t love me, yeah I don’t love them. . . yeah, right. Immediately after I repeated it and wrote it in my notes, I started thinking about the few people that I did love and do love, and even am in love with who might not even have a clue, or if they do, just don’t have the same mutual feelings back. I do love people who don’t love me back. And for some crazy reason, I can’t help it.
A lot of times I think about how I wish I could change my feelings; that maybe I could just replace those feelings that I’ve felt for a long time. Who knows. All I do know is that there are some people I love that I love being around and spending time with, and then there are people that I love that I just wish could change their ways. . . but that’s def a word we call hopeless.
Why is it that our love can’t be unreasonable? True love, I really believe is unreasonable. But this junk we call love now, one mistake and you’re mad at “love” and then ruin it. I’m so grateful that I am a child of a Father that loves me, a dirty, ragged sinner, more than anything else, no matter what.
God’s love is tough love sometimes.
Consequences come with poor decisions. We are allowed to make our own decisions and choices, but every one of those decisions and choices are followed by a consequence. Whether or not it’s a good consequence depends on our actions and the choice we made.
I think that the people we choose to define our life by are either good choices or bad choices. . . .who cares what other people think? If you love it, and you know its worth it, go for it. At least make the choice, rather than going by without making any choices or decisions. Always better to make a decision than to let all of them pass you by. Don’t be stagnant. . .I’m learning. That never leads to any explosion, whether good or bad, it’s a learning experience that’s worth learning from.
God’s love is unconditional.
The only love that is unconditional. If you don’t know this amazing Father I talk of, def ask me, cause you will never find another true LOVE like this one.
Anyway, the rest of the random ideas floating in my mind. . .
Th song by Duncan Shiek – Barely Breathing.
Sometimes you just wanna drop a water balloon off a roof onto someone. . . even if it only makes you feel better for a second.
You wait by the phone. . . even for a text.
Is it being lonely? Is it a crush on an idea? Or are you really crazy about that person?
You ever realize how much one small thing can impact you or even everyone around you?
Playing with Levi makes my heart happy. He loves me no matter how mad I get at him.
I miss my best friends. Bad. But I know they are where they are supposed to be. But I also guarantee I cry a lot.
1 vs. 1000. One with the one you truly care about vs 1000 with the jokers you think you care about.
Okay, I’m done for now.
Fabulous.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Boots and Boys
You know what’s funny? I can go for almost a year (or in this most recent case, a few months) and not want to write a thing. . .or think about writing and just never get around to it, and then all of a sudden have a desire to write down all of these things that are going around in my mind?! Funny.
5th Grade
I love teaching. . . no doubt about that. However, this half-year that I have been teaching has been so stressful! I just hate how much I want for my kids that they just don’t get to it. I guess my expectations are high. I guarantee something. . .no matter how much I love it, I will constantly have hardships to learn from.
Ke$ha
I don’t know what it is, but while her lifestyle is kinda crappy, some of her lyrics have strong meanings that have that sort of older Taylor Swift feeling. My favorite: . . .yeah just look them up Be aware, some are not as clean as they should be. . .but amusing
The Showgram
Addiction: I love Bob and the Showgram. . . my day just isn’t complete without the morning laugh and of course all four of my coffee-date friends. 6-10 on G105. Fun stuff!
Alexis
Oh boy, here we come!
Costa Rica
I get to go to Costa Rica in less than 2 weeks! I am so excited! It will be nice to get away and hang out on a vacation with Daniel and the fam. I miss him a lot. . .it will be wonderful to finally catch up and hear all about him and his adventures! He thinks he is gonna get me on a surfboard . . . we’ll see. . I just might!
Levi
He’s precious. Def my best buddy!
Sometimes I think its just a matter of talking things out so I can understand them fully. . .or at least a little bit better. Maybe that’s why I have a stressful few months and then am able to relax a little. . .soul searching. . . finding me before I can be with anyone else. Maybe something that I have been waiting for for a long time is coming my way. All I can do is keep my focus on my Maker and let his plans for my life fall into place, preferably without “mine” getting in the way. He’s awesome and has blessed me beyond imagination. . .I regrettably don’t thank him enough. . .if you don’t know him, ask. . .cause He is worth meeting! (For sure!)
Don't care where, work it out
Let me break it down.
5th Grade
I love teaching. . . no doubt about that. However, this half-year that I have been teaching has been so stressful! I just hate how much I want for my kids that they just don’t get to it. I guess my expectations are high. I guarantee something. . .no matter how much I love it, I will constantly have hardships to learn from.
Ke$ha
I don’t know what it is, but while her lifestyle is kinda crappy, some of her lyrics have strong meanings that have that sort of older Taylor Swift feeling. My favorite: . . .yeah just look them up Be aware, some are not as clean as they should be. . .but amusing
The Showgram
Addiction: I love Bob and the Showgram. . . my day just isn’t complete without the morning laugh and of course all four of my coffee-date friends. 6-10 on G105. Fun stuff!
Alexis
Oh boy, here we come!
Costa Rica
I get to go to Costa Rica in less than 2 weeks! I am so excited! It will be nice to get away and hang out on a vacation with Daniel and the fam. I miss him a lot. . .it will be wonderful to finally catch up and hear all about him and his adventures! He thinks he is gonna get me on a surfboard . . . we’ll see. . I just might!
Levi
He’s precious. Def my best buddy!
Sometimes I think its just a matter of talking things out so I can understand them fully. . .or at least a little bit better. Maybe that’s why I have a stressful few months and then am able to relax a little. . .soul searching. . . finding me before I can be with anyone else. Maybe something that I have been waiting for for a long time is coming my way. All I can do is keep my focus on my Maker and let his plans for my life fall into place, preferably without “mine” getting in the way. He’s awesome and has blessed me beyond imagination. . .I regrettably don’t thank him enough. . .if you don’t know him, ask. . .cause He is worth meeting! (For sure!)
Don't care where, work it out
Let me break it down.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
I'm Not Brave
I have noticed a lot about me in the past few months. . .more like 6 months to a year. I can talk a lot and make myself seem really strong and brave, but I'm really not . . .def not even close.
School makes me nervous. I am constantly trying to keep my head above water. That's really tough, especially when the kids don't care, and I have so much to do and so much I want to do, but I just feel like the "worth" is not there when I want it to be.
I learned a lot in church today. . . and while it may have not been from the Preacher, but I did learn from God's word.
We are "good" based on human standards. . . but what about God's standards? We are looking at our purpose in life by looking at what WE as humans think our life is all about. God gives us "standards" to follow and live by, and we continuously refuse to follow them.
One Tribe - BEP
"I (heart) ______".
It is not a matter of WAITING for something "good" to happen. It's a matter of preparing yourself for the unexpected. While it might be easier to pass the blame, It is inevitably my fault for not preparing correctly. It's like I was ready to run a marathon, yet trained and prepared for a swimming whatever it is. While the love for someone is deep and rooted, it doesn't grow unless it is watered or given nourishment. Eventually, those roots become old and dry. The ground is no longer providing for those roots the nourishment that they need, so what does the foundation do then? It no longer provides and the nutrients to build that love is gone, and it can't survive. It can of course be re-rooted, but that takes a lot of change and work. While it is possible, it would be better to nourish those already laid out roots. Without work, there is no love. Just a place where that love used to be.
It's the same way with God. We "love" Him, but our roots become dry and under nourished, unfortunately more often than not. But, it can be watered and taken care of. . . and sometimes re-rooted. God allows it to happen. Why don't we learn that? When will we learn that? The same way with God is the same way with Men.
I'll learn one of these days. One day, I'll be brave.
School makes me nervous. I am constantly trying to keep my head above water. That's really tough, especially when the kids don't care, and I have so much to do and so much I want to do, but I just feel like the "worth" is not there when I want it to be.
I learned a lot in church today. . . and while it may have not been from the Preacher, but I did learn from God's word.
We are "good" based on human standards. . . but what about God's standards? We are looking at our purpose in life by looking at what WE as humans think our life is all about. God gives us "standards" to follow and live by, and we continuously refuse to follow them.
One Tribe - BEP
"I (heart) ______".
It is not a matter of WAITING for something "good" to happen. It's a matter of preparing yourself for the unexpected. While it might be easier to pass the blame, It is inevitably my fault for not preparing correctly. It's like I was ready to run a marathon, yet trained and prepared for a swimming whatever it is. While the love for someone is deep and rooted, it doesn't grow unless it is watered or given nourishment. Eventually, those roots become old and dry. The ground is no longer providing for those roots the nourishment that they need, so what does the foundation do then? It no longer provides and the nutrients to build that love is gone, and it can't survive. It can of course be re-rooted, but that takes a lot of change and work. While it is possible, it would be better to nourish those already laid out roots. Without work, there is no love. Just a place where that love used to be.
It's the same way with God. We "love" Him, but our roots become dry and under nourished, unfortunately more often than not. But, it can be watered and taken care of. . . and sometimes re-rooted. God allows it to happen. Why don't we learn that? When will we learn that? The same way with God is the same way with Men.
I'll learn one of these days. One day, I'll be brave.
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