Do you ever get to that point where you just feel like everything in life is crumbling down on you, all in one day? I hate that feeling.
Today, I learned that I have to stay an extra semester in college, my apartment search isn’t going so well, my current apartment is dirty from my roommate, and my puppy is not helping, and then my car has a transmission leak. I can imagine more could happen, but gracious.
I’m exhausted. Life is exhausting. When you only get to sleep for a few small hours at night because everything is still in your brain; those things you really need to get done except you can’t find the time or energy to do them are still racking your brain and you just can’t sleep. Or, you sleep through your alarm and miss a class you really can’t afford to miss. Its really tiring. I’m tired.
Well, in the midst of apartment hunting, homework, big tests, presentations, future plans, a puppy, and taking 3 minute showers, I am looking for the positive things in life. I have money to pay April’s rent, which is a blessing, but then I have to pay a 200 dollar pet deposit fee for one month. I can’t seem to find all the positive things going on without finding the negative too. Where did that strong faith that there are many blessings without finding those unhappy situations?!
I keep hoping it will all be over soon. But then, at the same time, I want to enjoy these days; these happy moments when you walk in the door and your puppy gets so excited that you’re home that he pees on the floor. The happy moments when you get to learn more about children and how to affect their lives in a positive manner. The lovely time of cooking and eating, because then you realize that you really shouldn’t have eaten that rice, because now you feel like puking.
I miss the smell of clean laundry for longer than 2 minutes; the smiles from the people around you who really do care about you; the happiness of living situations; the satisfaction of knowing that you completed all of your assignments for school and got them turned in on time; waking up and feeling refreshed; feeling the warm sun on your face without thinking about everything you have to get done. I miss it. Where did it all go?!
I guess it’s the life of a college kid. Working hard to make money to survive, living the best you can with the ones you don’t want to live with, waiting for those moments when you get to see the ones you care about most. That’s life. I guess I just have to keep my chin up, because there is something that is planned for me. This is the life I was given, so I am going to try and make the best of it.
"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else." Galatians 6:4
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