Do you ever get to that point where you just feel like everything in life is crumbling down on you, all in one day? I hate that feeling.
Today, I learned that I have to stay an extra semester in college, my apartment search isn’t going so well, my current apartment is dirty from my roommate, and my puppy is not helping, and then my car has a transmission leak. I can imagine more could happen, but gracious.
I’m exhausted. Life is exhausting. When you only get to sleep for a few small hours at night because everything is still in your brain; those things you really need to get done except you can’t find the time or energy to do them are still racking your brain and you just can’t sleep. Or, you sleep through your alarm and miss a class you really can’t afford to miss. Its really tiring. I’m tired.
Well, in the midst of apartment hunting, homework, big tests, presentations, future plans, a puppy, and taking 3 minute showers, I am looking for the positive things in life. I have money to pay April’s rent, which is a blessing, but then I have to pay a 200 dollar pet deposit fee for one month. I can’t seem to find all the positive things going on without finding the negative too. Where did that strong faith that there are many blessings without finding those unhappy situations?!
I keep hoping it will all be over soon. But then, at the same time, I want to enjoy these days; these happy moments when you walk in the door and your puppy gets so excited that you’re home that he pees on the floor. The happy moments when you get to learn more about children and how to affect their lives in a positive manner. The lovely time of cooking and eating, because then you realize that you really shouldn’t have eaten that rice, because now you feel like puking.
I miss the smell of clean laundry for longer than 2 minutes; the smiles from the people around you who really do care about you; the happiness of living situations; the satisfaction of knowing that you completed all of your assignments for school and got them turned in on time; waking up and feeling refreshed; feeling the warm sun on your face without thinking about everything you have to get done. I miss it. Where did it all go?!
I guess it’s the life of a college kid. Working hard to make money to survive, living the best you can with the ones you don’t want to live with, waiting for those moments when you get to see the ones you care about most. That’s life. I guess I just have to keep my chin up, because there is something that is planned for me. This is the life I was given, so I am going to try and make the best of it.
"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else." Galatians 6:4
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
I Can See Clearly Now . . .
I’m not going to lie. I hate getting angry with someone . . . but honestly, I haven’t been like that since I’ve gotten into college. I guess sometimes we just lose our cool, and get mad.
So my question of the week is: why do we sometimes lose our cool, and say things and do things that we know get under the skin of others?
I really thing majority of the time, when we get our feelings hurt, it makes us “immediately” feel better by hurting the other persons feelings. While it makes us feel satisfied for the time being, later on, it makes us feel awful.
I try hard to let the little petty things go; a dirty living room, a messy kitchen, getting woken up at 3 and 4 in the morning by loud voices. . . I try to let these things go. The hardest part though, is that once you think you let them go, you still keep them in the back of your mind and they keep piling up, until that one day, one small thing is really a big deal to you, because you have all of those other things that are right there with it. You blow up, and make a big deal, but to them it is stupid and shouldn’t be a cause for an argument, but for you, it’s a big deal because it has built for a long time and it comes out all at once.
This can’t be good for your mind. But why do we do it? Why do we keep things inside, thinking that this is the best thing?
I learn daily. I learn how to better things by looking at how they failed. I learn that if a puppy has to tinkle, he really has to go right that second, not a second more. I learned that when you have to wear some glasses for driving, you can avoid a headache by looking through them.
I got a new pair of glasses recently. They make me see better while driving. They honestly help me see better 90% of the time. For the first day, I tried getting used to them but as I kept taking them off, my head started hurting. It was because I kept taking them off and putting them on, and my eyes had a hard time focusing. I lost focus of things because I didn’t look at it through the glasses; the helpers.
I think that I often do that. I often try to look at things through my own eyes, rather than the ones that are there to help me see more clear. I don’t see the good things because I keep looking for the bad. I don’t understand things, because I don’t want to. Why is it that when we are given help, we don’t use it because we think the way that we do things is always better?
God gives us help when we need it most. We don’t always ask for it, but he always provides at the right time. He gives us the glasses to see things the better way, the more clear way. Sometimes we just need to let go and take the glasses and see our life the way he sees it. Maybe it is then that we will see our own mistakes, and stop looking for the mistakes of others. Maybe it is then that we will realize how much of a difference it makes when we don’t do everything by ourselves; that we can see how much he can provide if we just allow him to guide us. Maybe if we just let our prideful guard down, he can bring happiness and joy that we haven’t seen in a while.
If we just look through the glasses that we’ve been given, maybe we will see much clearer.
So my question of the week is: why do we sometimes lose our cool, and say things and do things that we know get under the skin of others?
I really thing majority of the time, when we get our feelings hurt, it makes us “immediately” feel better by hurting the other persons feelings. While it makes us feel satisfied for the time being, later on, it makes us feel awful.
I try hard to let the little petty things go; a dirty living room, a messy kitchen, getting woken up at 3 and 4 in the morning by loud voices. . . I try to let these things go. The hardest part though, is that once you think you let them go, you still keep them in the back of your mind and they keep piling up, until that one day, one small thing is really a big deal to you, because you have all of those other things that are right there with it. You blow up, and make a big deal, but to them it is stupid and shouldn’t be a cause for an argument, but for you, it’s a big deal because it has built for a long time and it comes out all at once.
This can’t be good for your mind. But why do we do it? Why do we keep things inside, thinking that this is the best thing?
I learn daily. I learn how to better things by looking at how they failed. I learn that if a puppy has to tinkle, he really has to go right that second, not a second more. I learned that when you have to wear some glasses for driving, you can avoid a headache by looking through them.
I got a new pair of glasses recently. They make me see better while driving. They honestly help me see better 90% of the time. For the first day, I tried getting used to them but as I kept taking them off, my head started hurting. It was because I kept taking them off and putting them on, and my eyes had a hard time focusing. I lost focus of things because I didn’t look at it through the glasses; the helpers.
I think that I often do that. I often try to look at things through my own eyes, rather than the ones that are there to help me see more clear. I don’t see the good things because I keep looking for the bad. I don’t understand things, because I don’t want to. Why is it that when we are given help, we don’t use it because we think the way that we do things is always better?
God gives us help when we need it most. We don’t always ask for it, but he always provides at the right time. He gives us the glasses to see things the better way, the more clear way. Sometimes we just need to let go and take the glasses and see our life the way he sees it. Maybe it is then that we will see our own mistakes, and stop looking for the mistakes of others. Maybe it is then that we will realize how much of a difference it makes when we don’t do everything by ourselves; that we can see how much he can provide if we just allow him to guide us. Maybe if we just let our prideful guard down, he can bring happiness and joy that we haven’t seen in a while.
If we just look through the glasses that we’ve been given, maybe we will see much clearer.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
I'm No Superman
Its’ funny the things you can learn from movies or TV shows. One of my favorite’s lately has been Scrubs. I mean, the theme song says “I can’t do this all on my own. I’m no superman.” It is kind of funny. When you really think about it . . . we can’t do it all on our own. We are not superman. As sad as it sounds, if we think we can continue on through this life all by ourselves, we’re really wrong. This is where those loved ones come in to play; those friends who are back home who cut out the pieces, those that you love from the bottom of your heart who actually put the picture on the puzzle pieces, and then the new friends you make who add the gloss to the puzzle to make it pretty . . . yet sometimes, that puzzle never gets put together. The really funny thing is that it only gets taken apart as we continue on through this life, trying to put these pieces together. Mistakes, wrong decisions, and then just “bad days”, take that puzzle apart and put it away, until that one moment, of that one day when you realize, it’s your puzzle. It’s your life. You help place the pieces, but it’s already laid out for you. . .
. . . Hey, it’s your puzzle. Put it together.
I think every day is full of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character. Some are tests of fortitude. Others are tests of friendship. And if you’re lucky, when it really matters, you’ll pass with flying colors. – JD Scrubs
. . . Hey, it’s your puzzle. Put it together.
I think every day is full of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character. Some are tests of fortitude. Others are tests of friendship. And if you’re lucky, when it really matters, you’ll pass with flying colors. – JD Scrubs
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