Mountaintops and Valleys

I have to say that this has been the busiest, most stressful past few weeks ever!

I am still working on getting my paperwork or whatnot in for the School of Ed. It’s tripping me out because I am in the School of Ed but they still need my application form? Oh well, I just know I have till the end of the semester to turn it in. Big deal.

I got to see my special friend this past weekend, and I have to admit, I was unbelievably nervous. Don’t know why I ever get that way because I know I am really not but I sure do make a big deal about a lot of stuff on the inside.  I mean, what kind of name is Bubb Rubb anyway?! Ha-ha, Good times. . . I am hoping anyway. I hate that inner voice that is always sounding discouraging . . . for instance, this whole thing about being really far away. It’s great until I actually think about it, and then I constantly am asking myself, “is it really worth it” or “I know it seems great now, but where is this going to go?” I don’t want to sound negative or oddly discouraging, but really, where is this going to go? Then I remember that my faith relies in Him above, and that’s where I just have to let things be. My crazy, think-too-hard self has to let things be.

I got into a conversation with a great friend yesterday about missing places. I worked three very great summers at two even greater places. My first summer was spent on the mountain. Mundo’s Mountain. Phenomenal summer. I had a great time . . . but it was so hard to leave. Then the second summer was spent there again, yet this time, it really was only hard to leave a few people. I had developed friendships, but not a love for the summer like the one before. It was very stressful, but God placed people in my path that I will never in my lifetime forget the impact they had on me. They are some of my favorite people. This past summer I spent at Caswell. Amazing place. Phenomenal people. A fantastic summer. I was okay to leave however, because I knew that it wouldn’t be the last time I saw these people. It wasn’t that hard. But, this past weekend I got to see those very same people and realized it was harder to leave this time. Yeah, maybe not everyone was a good thing to see, I actually could have gone without seeing some lol. . . But there were those that also had a great impact on me that I already miss like crazy and it’s only been like 2 days!! But then I do know again that I will see them again. We were talking about mountaintops and valleys. . . Steven Curtis Chapman sings a fabulous song talking about these, and there is a link in the title where you can hear it. Just find “Mountain”. To give some of the words that really explain what “the mountain” means:

You bring me up here on this mountain
For me to rest and learn and grow
I see the truth up on the mountain And I carry it to the world far below
So as I go down to the valley
Knowing that You will go with me
This is my prayer, Lord
Help me to remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain
Up on the mountain

I cherish these times up on the mountain
But I can leave this place because I know
Someday You'll take me home to live forever
Up on the mountain

My friend said that once people leave that you remember from the summer you have to descend back to the valley . . .or take a 4 hour drive home. You would be amazed how much you think about and talk about, by yourself, yes, in the car by yourself.

God gives me tons to think about, I just have the hardest time with straying away and getting away from my connections with him. Can’t ever be good. My prayer lately has been to allow myself to get off my own pedestal and allow him to be my source.

There really has been a lot of stress in my life here lately, and it’s my own fault. I allow my life to be so hectic that it gets completely full and I am running myself silly. School is stressful, relationships, finances, family, own needs . . . just too many. But they are getting in control, because slowly but surely I am able to lift them up and my Maker is taking the weight off my shoulders.

Sorry for such a long blog. . . Had a little bit of time and this allows me to get my thoughts out. Hope your having a fantastic week, if you are around here, enjoy the rain . . . and the great feel of tennis shoes!! ;) Take care of you.

Fabulous!