Fabulous You!

A Comment Never Wanted to Hear Again.

2011-03-29T18:26:00.001-05:00

“Don’t hate me because I’m an asshole.” Please excuse my words, however, this is exactly how it was spoken and meant exactly as it sounds. But, those are seven words that surly makes a girl think. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be upset or even angry with someone who tells me not to hate him because that’s just how he is; like I should have known that before we ever met? 8 years and that’s the last thing that was said.

The whole point of a relationship is loyalty and trust, right? So, whether it is friendship or a dating relationship, it still remains the same. Love comes later, that’s not what I’m talking about. When I tell someone that I can’t be “just friends” and hang out whenever we want or be around one another, because I want more. The response is “note taken”. However, coming over only one day after that was said should tell me what? That you agree that we should be more than just friends, or what is it? I still think that this is it . . . and I will. I guess until something changes my mind.

I try not to think so much about the little things, but when something really matters to me, why shouldn’t I think about it? Lots on my plate; might as well enjoy each part. It makes me wonder sometimes . . . will it end up like Carrie and Big, or more as Jules and Michael.

I have worked specifically on two things this past month. The first is to walk everyday and work on getting back into my bikini body, and ready for summer. I have done pretty well so far, walking everyday . . . and the handsome guys at the end of the street certainly make it a little bit easier! I’m losing a little, but still more to get rid of before I’m ready for my green suit.

The second, I am trying to prove wrong a very unfavorable man that told me that I wasn’t a fit teacher, and that I didn’t get adequate training, and that he was surprised I graduated college with an elementary degree instead of being a lateral entry teacher. He also told me that my example of a boat moving with the wind wasn’t fit for my kids. I guess, according to him, I am not supposed to be a teacher. However. I disagree. Completely. I have lived my whole life so far to be a teacher, and according to the tiny differences I can already see, and the passion I have in my heart that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I couldn’t be more thankful and appreciative of the encouragement the staff at my school has been to me, even my boss. So I guess, it’s just one more thing trying to get me to stray from what my true calling is. I don’t think I would love it so much if it wasn’t what I was supposed to do.

Hot mess.

Heart-break

2011-01-17T02:53:00.001-05:00

I hate coffee, not really, but the fact that I am sitting up at 2:15am and watching movies that make me cry, well, that gives me a reason to hate coffee.

I laugh sometimes, because I watch these movies, pretty much ones that only make you think and usually make you cry like a baby, but then I look at how silly it is that I am so involved in this movie that is nothing but fiction; which I tell my kids is non-realistic. It is kind of like justifying my motives and thoughts as well as my actions and making it all “make sense”. Silly isn’t it?

In thinking the other day, I recognized something that I am not too proud of that occurs often in my life. I realized that I have never once had my heart broken. Well, I take that back, I have had it broken, sure, but not to the point of it being something to learn from. Simple heartbreaks are more like pride-breaks or something that embarrasses you or “hurts” your feelings . . . but never a heart-break. (You know one of those cry for days, can’t eat or sleep, crazy feeling kind of heart-break.) I realized that I always end things before it gets to that point. I guess you can call it being proactive. However, sometimes being that proactive keeps you from learning or experiencing the “heart-break”. No, I am not saying I want to know what that feels like, but it does make me wonder what my relationships would look like now if I had ever experienced that feeling. Hm.

So, I really like this guy. He is sweet, handsome, considerate, smart, hard-headed, simple and complicated, and def someone I could be with. Different than anyone else I have been with, but certainly worth a little time. I do wish, however, that he would once in a while say what he is thinking . . . but wait, that’s a wish that I am not going to take up in one of my 3.  I do wonder sometimes, if I make the right choices. Do I go for the one who has been my friend for a long time that it could really work and be great with? Or do I go for the one who doesn’t seem to reciprocate my feelings towards him towards me? It’s almost like I am a silly girl with a crush on an idea that comes and goes as it pleases. That I think is what it is so hard about being with one person. I really feel like some type of commitment that is strong and there for me will help make that decision, but taking so long to begin that commitment keeps me wondering, which one? The one that I have loved for years and has a great heart and spirited personality, but really someone I don’t know as well as I think I do – or someone who is one of my greatest friends and has some feelings of “like” towards me, will have a great time on dates, smart and caring, and yet still someone I don’t know as well as I would like to, but would be easier to get to know. Am I just wanting a friend or am I really wanting a companion? (Not in the dog-sense of the term, but the relationship sense) Am I desperate or truly interested?

I have lots of tough decisions.

I really like my job. I love teaching, and I know that is exactly what I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember. (Even back to the point of playing with my best friend “school” and calling each other to talk about how crazy my kids were) I tell you what; it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I definitely know that what I learned in college isn’t as helpful as what it means to be put in the classroom and have to actually “teach”. It’s hard, but I love it. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Where is my relationship with my Maker in all the midst of my mess? I think that is my bigger problem, and the first issue to be resolved. It is tough to learn that I can’t do it all on my own. It took 5 cups of coffee and quite a few sappy girl movies to figure that out. Isn’t life just one big hot mess?

LA-DE-Frickin-DA

2010-11-05T19:44:00.000-05:00

Joe and Stella

2010-08-29T22:08:00.002-05:00

There's a storm coming up
And I gotta prepare myself
'Cause this feeling is getting stronger everyday
Something's creeping inside
Everything is about to change
Gotta face the fact that I can't walk away

This is critical, I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep when you're not with me
Baby, you're the air I breathe
This is critical, yeahh
So stuck on you

Used to have everything figured out
But it's different now
When you came, you saw
You conquered my heart
It's your laugh and your smile
Wanna stay for a little while
I don't wanna go
I just want you in my arms

This is critical, I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep when you're not with me
Baby, you're the air I breathe
This is critical, yeahh
So stuck on you

Used to run and hide
Used to bend our love
But I can't escape this time,
Ohnooo...

This is critical, I'm feeling helpless
So hysterical, this can't be healthy
I can't eat or sleep when you're not with me
Baby, you're the air I breathe
This is critical, yeahh

Baby, it's so critical
Baby, it's so critical
It's so critical
So stuck on you

-Nick Jonas

And I do wish Joe and Stella would get together. ;)

K.I.S.S it

2010-08-21T16:58:00.003-05:00

Why do we make the simple things a bigger deal rather than taking it at its value?

For example, a "diet" should be eat when you're hungry, and stop when you are not hungry. Simple right? But we make it such a bigger deal. . . snacking all day and eating because you feel like you have to. And then you look in the mirror and decide that you eat too much and go on a diet that causes you to take out all of your favorite fattening foods, which in turn causes you to miss them and crave them so much that your diet has produced the opposite effect: splurging and overeating.

So, my point is, don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Keep it simple stupid (KISS it). And really, don't let the simple things take over your life. Not worth the stress we make it out to be.

PS:, I'm firing my brain on Saturdays.

You're Not Who I Thought You Were

2010-08-10T11:39:00.002-05:00

I’m going to ramble at first, because it gets everything out that I want to say and then makes sense of it later . . . sometimes.

Talk, wish, comfort, love, and change:
[5 topics that take a lot of considerations. . . however, when you’re in my head, its like I think about them often and almost always in the same way. For example, I think about how much I talk and always say too much and that sometimes I definitely stick my foot in my mouth, which leads me to thinking that maybe I could find a shooting star, because they always feel like encouragement to me, and then I think about how much I fell into love watching those beautiful stars and argue with myself about it because I messed it up, then I think about how I get too comfortable with where I am and how I am okay with my life, and think about how much I shouldn’t be comfortable with my life and that I am supposed to be in Gods word so that I am growing and changing and developing a deeper understanding of what my purpose is for my life. . . which then I ask questions to fix it or change it, and talk to this crazy guy I am [infatuated] with . . . which in turn I talk too much, and you get the idea.]

Let me break it down:

I talk a lot. I have this disease, its called “open mouth, insert foot”. . . which means when I do talk, I actually say too much and then mess up what I originally was trying to say. . .which is never fun. And I definitely try to change that as much as I can, which in the end, leads me to keeping everything in . . . . So it’s just this unending cycle of things to say. I asked a friend why he is able to stay so quiet and just doesn’t talk so much, and he said he didn’t say much anyway. .. Which makes me wonder, is it better to stay quiet and not say anything? Or to talk a lot and regret what you say later? Well, of course the obvious answer is to create a balance . . . which is definitely possible, just never fun! I think that if I am able to use that “trap door” that tells you what to say out loud after you said it in your head; it would create a better balance, and certainly allow the avoiding of the “open mouth- insert foot” disease.

I loved wishing on stars . . . well I still love wishing on stars. My favorite thing about Caswell was that I could lie on the forts and see all of the stars in the sky. It was not only a reminder of how great our Maker is, but also a feeling of happiness that comes from just relaxing watching them. I also love seeing shooting stars, and even though it’s silly to wish on them, it still gives a little excitement to wish on a star and only hope for it to come true. A lot of my wishes have come true, even though I can’t give credit to the stars, but only to the one who created them. [One of my favorite 1vs1000 memories]

I’ve talked a lot about being comfortable and asked a few friends about what it means to be comfortable, and how do you get out of the comfortableness of everyday life. I say this in reference to sins and how I can get so comfortable with my sin that it no longer feels like I am sinning. For example, someone can get so caught up in lies that they no longer recognize they are lying. Say I get so used to telling everyone something that it convinces me to think that I am good at it. It’s like lying becomes convincing, until you recognize that it was originally a lie. It makes you a liar. My point is that sometimes we need to recognize when we are getting comfortable in our sin, but now it’s a persistent action that feels like it belongs in our life, when really, it’s not what we were created to be. We are created to be images of our Maker. When we give in to sin and what we know is not according to God’s plan for our lives, it makes us less of an image. It’s funny too, because it is not our job to point out other people’s choices for their lives. I can’t tell you when I think you are wrong, and I have no right to. I am only the judge of my own life. I just urge you to find out and search your heart to see if you have become comfortable . . . not to become unhappy, but to be changed.

Love isn’t something I am good at, or even able to share much about . . . however, I can tell you that I did find out that a friend of mine looks to examples of love and what it is, and as I do the same, I hope to find it for me some day.

Anyway, I have had a lot on my mind and on my heart . . . oh, and change is always inevitable. Just gotta wait for the right timing. [You’ll know]

Fabulous.

One Versus One Thousand

2010-07-25T14:53:00.003-05:00

We talked this morning in worship about God’s Love.

God’s love is unreasonable.

I had so many thoughts going through my head throughout the entire service. First, the Pastor said, “We don’t love people who don’t love us back”. At first, I agreed. Sure, people who don’t love me, yeah I don’t love them. . . yeah, right. Immediately after I repeated it and wrote it in my notes, I started thinking about the few people that I did love and do love, and even am in love with who might not even have a clue, or if they do, just don’t have the same mutual feelings back. I do love people who don’t love me back. And for some crazy reason, I can’t help it.

A lot of times I think about how I wish I could change my feelings; that maybe I could just replace those feelings that I’ve felt for a long time. Who knows. All I do know is that there are some people I love that I love being around and spending time with, and then there are people that I love that I just wish could change their ways. . . but that’s def a word we call hopeless.

Why is it that our love can’t be unreasonable? True love, I really believe is unreasonable. But this junk we call love now, one mistake and you’re mad at “love” and then ruin it. I’m so grateful that I am a child of a Father that loves me, a dirty, ragged sinner, more than anything else, no matter what.

God’s love is tough love sometimes.

Consequences come with poor decisions. We are allowed to make our own decisions and choices, but every one of those decisions and choices are followed by a consequence. Whether or not it’s a good consequence depends on our actions and the choice we made.

I think that the people we choose to define our life by are either good choices or bad choices. . . .who cares what other people think? If you love it, and you know its worth it, go for it. At least make the choice, rather than going by without making any choices or decisions. Always better to make a decision than to let all of them pass you by. Don’t be stagnant. . .I’m learning. That never leads to any explosion, whether good or bad, it’s a learning experience that’s worth learning from.

God’s love is unconditional.

The only love that is unconditional. If you don’t know this amazing Father I talk of, def ask me, cause you will never find another true LOVE like this one.

Anyway, the rest of the random ideas floating in my mind. . .

Th song by Duncan Shiek – Barely Breathing.

Sometimes you just wanna drop a water balloon off a roof onto someone. . . even if it only makes you feel better for a second.

You wait by the phone. . . even for a text.

Is it being lonely? Is it a crush on an idea? Or are you really crazy about that person?

You ever realize how much one small thing can impact you or even everyone around you?

Playing with Levi makes my heart happy. He loves me no matter how mad I get at him.

I miss my best friends. Bad. But I know they are where they are supposed to be. But I also guarantee I cry a lot.

1 vs. 1000. One with the one you truly care about vs 1000 with the jokers you think you care about.

Okay, I’m done for now.

Fabulous.

Boots and Boys

2010-06-02T18:47:00.000-05:00

You know what’s funny? I can go for almost a year (or in this most recent case, a few months) and not want to write a thing. . .or think about writing and just never get around to it, and then all of a sudden have a desire to write down all of these things that are going around in my mind?! Funny.

5th Grade
I love teaching. . . no doubt about that. However, this half-year that I have been teaching has been so stressful! I just hate how much I want for my kids that they just don’t get to it. I guess my expectations are high. I guarantee something. . .no matter how much I love it, I will constantly have hardships to learn from.

Ke$ha
I don’t know what it is, but while her lifestyle is kinda crappy, some of her lyrics have strong meanings that have that sort of older Taylor Swift feeling. My favorite: . . .yeah just look them up  Be aware, some are not as clean as they should be. . .but amusing 

The Showgram
Addiction: I love Bob and the Showgram. . . my day just isn’t complete without the morning laugh and of course all four of my coffee-date friends. 6-10 on G105. Fun stuff!

Alexis
Oh boy, here we come!

Costa Rica
I get to go to Costa Rica in less than 2 weeks! I am so excited! It will be nice to get away and hang out on a vacation with Daniel and the fam. I miss him a lot. . .it will be wonderful to finally catch up and hear all about him and his adventures! He thinks he is gonna get me on a surfboard . . . we’ll see. . I just might!

Levi
He’s precious. Def my best buddy!

Sometimes I think its just a matter of talking things out so I can understand them fully. . .or at least a little bit better. Maybe that’s why I have a stressful few months and then am able to relax a little. . .soul searching. . . finding me before I can be with anyone else. Maybe something that I have been waiting for for a long time is coming my way. All I can do is keep my focus on my Maker and let his plans for my life fall into place, preferably without “mine” getting in the way. He’s awesome and has blessed me beyond imagination. . .I regrettably don’t thank him enough. . .if you don’t know him, ask. . .cause He is worth meeting! (For sure!)

Don't care where, work it out
Let me break it down.

I'm Not Brave

2010-02-14T17:27:00.002-05:00

I have noticed a lot about me in the past few months. . .more like 6 months to a year. I can talk a lot and make myself seem really strong and brave, but I'm really not . . .def not even close.

School makes me nervous. I am constantly trying to keep my head above water. That's really tough, especially when the kids don't care, and I have so much to do and so much I want to do, but I just feel like the "worth" is not there when I want it to be.

I learned a lot in church today. . . and while it may have not been from the Preacher, but I did learn from God's word.

We are "good" based on human standards. . . but what about God's standards? We are looking at our purpose in life by looking at what WE as humans think our life is all about. God gives us "standards" to follow and live by, and we continuously refuse to follow them.

One Tribe - BEP

"I (heart) ______".
It is not a matter of WAITING for something "good" to happen. It's a matter of preparing yourself for the unexpected. While it might be easier to pass the blame, It is inevitably my fault for not preparing correctly. It's like I was ready to run a marathon, yet trained and prepared for a swimming whatever it is. While the love for someone is deep and rooted, it doesn't grow unless it is watered or given nourishment. Eventually, those roots become old and dry. The ground is no longer providing for those roots the nourishment that they need, so what does the foundation do then? It no longer provides and the nutrients to build that love is gone, and it can't survive. It can of course be re-rooted, but that takes a lot of change and work. While it is possible, it would be better to nourish those already laid out roots. Without work, there is no love. Just a place where that love used to be.

It's the same way with God. We "love" Him, but our roots become dry and under nourished, unfortunately more often than not. But, it can be watered and taken care of. . . and sometimes re-rooted. God allows it to happen. Why don't we learn that? When will we learn that? The same way with God is the same way with Men.

I'll learn one of these days. One day, I'll be brave.

What do you want?

2009-04-16T21:01:00.002-05:00

Hmm.

I'm very independent and I like those that respect that.
I don't have to hang out and be around someone 24/7, but I like quality time.
I don't like a phone call every hour to ask what I am doing or where I am.
I like the trust and understanding of two different lives, just headed in the same direction.
I like someone to care about some of the things that I care about, and just listen when I talk about them and just be there when I am happy and not happy to celebrate or just enjoy a cup of coffee with me.
I like a friendship based relationship, not an only person I hang out with all the time kind of relationship.
I love being around lots of people at times, and then sometimes I just like it to be the two of us, and then other times I like to enjoy time alone.
I never had a dad in my life and my mom did a pretty darn good job at raising me, and she is the one I talk to if I need a girlfriend who gives advice and then my sister is the one I talk to when I have something that I need to get fussed at for.
I do pretty good making good and bad decisions, but I do my best to make them and then figure out how I do or don't need to make them again.
I can't cook real well, but I do know how to follow a recipe.
I am a friend to all, and have a lot of guy friends who would do nothing but enjoy company and are very easy going and I want someone who is okay with that and doesn't get jealous over time.
If they do get jealous, then tell me.
Be honest and I will do what I can to fix it.
I like two way relationships, I give, you give, and we work together.
I get frustrated with not doing my best and that works for me because I want to do better the next time.
I screw up ALL THE TIME and I can't be mad at myself but just get mad enough to fix it the next time.
I want to teach children because I like being creative and have a lot to share and they are the ones who can make a difference, not just in the world, but in their own personal lives.
I don’t like eating things I don’t like. If I want to try something new, I will. Just don’t push it.
There are things that I like to talk about and things that I just don’t want to talk about.

You know. . . I was writing this to tell a friend what I really am like, and what I want. It’s funny because as I was writing it, I was thinking about the things that make up ME. What I am, what I want, what I do, it all makes up, me.

I wonder why it takes almost a life changing decision that I have thought about making for so long and then finally got up the nerve in my stomach to say what I wanted to say. I hurt myself, I hurt someone else, and I had a hard time figuring out what really made me say what I wanted to say. It reminds me of Charlotte, from SATC, where she finally tells Mr. Big what she has wanted to say, what she has rehearsed in her mind over and over again, and it makes her feel good outside, but on the inside, she really thought that was hurtful and not fair for his feelings. I feel like that is what I did . . . but I know it is what I wanted. I want time. I want to meet new people and get to know them. I don’t want to end a relationship completely, but I do want to take the time to get to know me again . . . build my relationships internally again and then even build up my life to where I am at least okay with it. I’m not saying it’s over. . . I am not saying it’s still going. I just know that what I want, I have to look for. I will find it, whether it is today, next week, a month from now, or in August. I want time. I think time will help me find me again, and get through all of these crazy things I have started and not finished in my life. I want to find the help I need to close doors and then open others. It’s true. Life alone is wasted . . . but life with people isn’t worth it if you aren’t happy with yourself.

I graduate in December. I have one more week of classes before I intern in august. I am at a really tough time in my life, and the one thing I want most right now is to find me.

Life is a journey. Family makes it great; friends and family make it greater. I have a Maker who I want to be pleased with me . . .

Special thanks to those who helped me write this. Yeah, you don't know who you are. ;)

Fabulous!

Ohhh the Easy Button.

2008-11-09T23:14:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you just need to take a small break and get everything out that you want out, and then come back together and make it a lot better.

I think it would work. . .

I just wish things didn't happen the way they have happened.

But there's nothing I can do now. . . just have to move on and step over that rock in the water. It kinda reminds me of the movie Aladdin and where he is stepping on the stones and after he steps on one it blows up and then finally he gets to the last stone and as it starts to blow up, the magic carpet fly's in and saves the day. . .

Where is my magic carpet?

It Was Just A Bad Day

2008-04-20T23:53:00.000-05:00

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
the point is they laugh at what you say
and I don't need no carrying' on

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
and the whole thing turns out wrong
you might not make it back and you know
that you could be well oh that strong
and I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most?
Oh you and I
you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.

You know,

It’s funny. Because when you have what you think you want, it seems that it is never enough. but the second you have what you thought was "enough" or what you thought you wanted, its too much, and you end up hurting and being hurt which ends in you losing everything. But then there is that one time that when you realize in the middle of getting what you want or thought you wanted, you find what truly matters . . . what your heart truly desires. .. And it’s been in your hands the whole time. . .

Sometimes it takes just one mistake to realize the happiness you have already found.

But then it’s really funny, because it is once you make that one mistake that you are put into a stupid category.

And it sucks, and is not fair, but it happens.

Just got to look for that happiness that you’ve already found-

Move on, look forward, forgive, forget, and love; but most importantly, find what truly makes you happy.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

2008-03-27T21:29:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get to that point where you just feel like everything in life is crumbling down on you, all in one day? I hate that feeling.

Today, I learned that I have to stay an extra semester in college, my apartment search isn’t going so well, my current apartment is dirty from my roommate, and my puppy is not helping, and then my car has a transmission leak. I can imagine more could happen, but gracious.

I’m exhausted. Life is exhausting. When you only get to sleep for a few small hours at night because everything is still in your brain; those things you really need to get done except you can’t find the time or energy to do them are still racking your brain and you just can’t sleep. Or, you sleep through your alarm and miss a class you really can’t afford to miss. Its really tiring. I’m tired.

Well, in the midst of apartment hunting, homework, big tests, presentations, future plans, a puppy, and taking 3 minute showers, I am looking for the positive things in life. I have money to pay April’s rent, which is a blessing, but then I have to pay a 200 dollar pet deposit fee for one month. I can’t seem to find all the positive things going on without finding the negative too. Where did that strong faith that there are many blessings without finding those unhappy situations?!

I keep hoping it will all be over soon. But then, at the same time, I want to enjoy these days; these happy moments when you walk in the door and your puppy gets so excited that you’re home that he pees on the floor. The happy moments when you get to learn more about children and how to affect their lives in a positive manner. The lovely time of cooking and eating, because then you realize that you really shouldn’t have eaten that rice, because now you feel like puking.

I miss the smell of clean laundry for longer than 2 minutes; the smiles from the people around you who really do care about you; the happiness of living situations; the satisfaction of knowing that you completed all of your assignments for school and got them turned in on time; waking up and feeling refreshed; feeling the warm sun on your face without thinking about everything you have to get done. I miss it. Where did it all go?!

I guess it’s the life of a college kid. Working hard to make money to survive, living the best you can with the ones you don’t want to live with, waiting for those moments when you get to see the ones you care about most. That’s life. I guess I just have to keep my chin up, because there is something that is planned for me. This is the life I was given, so I am going to try and make the best of it.

"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else." Galatians 6:4

I Can See Clearly Now . . .

2008-03-17T13:56:00.001-05:00

I’m not going to lie. I hate getting angry with someone . . . but honestly, I haven’t been like that since I’ve gotten into college. I guess sometimes we just lose our cool, and get mad.

So my question of the week is: why do we sometimes lose our cool, and say things and do things that we know get under the skin of others?

I really thing majority of the time, when we get our feelings hurt, it makes us “immediately” feel better by hurting the other persons feelings. While it makes us feel satisfied for the time being, later on, it makes us feel awful.

I try hard to let the little petty things go; a dirty living room, a messy kitchen, getting woken up at 3 and 4 in the morning by loud voices. . . I try to let these things go. The hardest part though, is that once you think you let them go, you still keep them in the back of your mind and they keep piling up, until that one day, one small thing is really a big deal to you, because you have all of those other things that are right there with it. You blow up, and make a big deal, but to them it is stupid and shouldn’t be a cause for an argument, but for you, it’s a big deal because it has built for a long time and it comes out all at once.

This can’t be good for your mind. But why do we do it? Why do we keep things inside, thinking that this is the best thing?

I learn daily. I learn how to better things by looking at how they failed. I learn that if a puppy has to tinkle, he really has to go right that second, not a second more. I learned that when you have to wear some glasses for driving, you can avoid a headache by looking through them.

I got a new pair of glasses recently. They make me see better while driving. They honestly help me see better 90% of the time. For the first day, I tried getting used to them but as I kept taking them off, my head started hurting. It was because I kept taking them off and putting them on, and my eyes had a hard time focusing. I lost focus of things because I didn’t look at it through the glasses; the helpers.

I think that I often do that. I often try to look at things through my own eyes, rather than the ones that are there to help me see more clear. I don’t see the good things because I keep looking for the bad. I don’t understand things, because I don’t want to. Why is it that when we are given help, we don’t use it because we think the way that we do things is always better?

God gives us help when we need it most. We don’t always ask for it, but he always provides at the right time. He gives us the glasses to see things the better way, the more clear way. Sometimes we just need to let go and take the glasses and see our life the way he sees it. Maybe it is then that we will see our own mistakes, and stop looking for the mistakes of others. Maybe it is then that we will realize how much of a difference it makes when we don’t do everything by ourselves; that we can see how much he can provide if we just allow him to guide us. Maybe if we just let our prideful guard down, he can bring happiness and joy that we haven’t seen in a while.

If we just look through the glasses that we’ve been given, maybe we will see much clearer.

Don't Worry. . . Be Happy!

2008-03-08T22:38:00.001-05:00

I'm No Superman

2008-03-03T14:30:00.001-05:00

Its’ funny the things you can learn from movies or TV shows. One of my favorite’s lately has been Scrubs. I mean, the theme song says “I can’t do this all on my own. I’m no superman.” It is kind of funny. When you really think about it . . . we can’t do it all on our own. We are not superman. As sad as it sounds, if we think we can continue on through this life all by ourselves, we’re really wrong. This is where those loved ones come in to play; those friends who are back home who cut out the pieces, those that you love from the bottom of your heart who actually put the picture on the puzzle pieces, and then the new friends you make who add the gloss to the puzzle to make it pretty . . . yet sometimes, that puzzle never gets put together. The really funny thing is that it only gets taken apart as we continue on through this life, trying to put these pieces together. Mistakes, wrong decisions, and then just “bad days”, take that puzzle apart and put it away, until that one moment, of that one day when you realize, it’s your puzzle. It’s your life. You help place the pieces, but it’s already laid out for you. . .

. . . Hey, it’s your puzzle. Put it together.

I think every day is full of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character. Some are tests of fortitude. Others are tests of friendship. And if you’re lucky, when it really matters, you’ll pass with flying colors. – JD Scrubs

Off to Virginia We Go! . .. again.

2007-12-17T16:54:00.000-05:00

Here we are in VA again. Krissy is having her surgery for the Neuropace this time. She seems okay with it this time, but this only means 3 years of research and lots of patience for Mom and her both.

Theres been a lot that has happened since I last blogged. Starting after the summer, I transferred to UNCW, where the only issues I have had, well, lets not get to that! I transferred and have done nothing but love school. Crazy, but the Education department is nothing short of amazing. . . and the fact that I can graduate in Spring of 2009 is nothing short of a miracle!

In August, I kinda sorta wrecked my Seabring. Very sad, cause I loved that car, but unfortunate situations happen. I'm okay, and nobody was hurt. I was also in the midst of an apartment search, which wonderfully worked out 2 weeks after school started. Not too bad at all. Later this semester, I was able to find another apartment that I am currently in, and love my roommate!

So now that all of that is out and explained, I have one other amazing thing to talk about!! My Sweetpea!! We have celebrated a year this past August, and its been wonderful! We have been very blessed with our relationship and I can't wait to see what else will happen!!

Well, thats about all for now, so hopefully I will talk again soon!

Fabulous!

2007-09-30T15:59:00.000-05:00

**Holding hands is something young kids do with their parents, as a way to feel safe. It's something elderly couples in their 90s do, to show each other they still love each other. It is a universal symbol of caring, tenderness and security. Your hands are extremely sensitive, they are the main way you "take action" in life. So to have your hands interlocked with the hands of another person is the ultimate way to say "you are what I choose in my life".
Holding hands comments from answers.com.
**Two or more people voluntarily hold hands for one of the following reasons and purposes:

* in various rituals:
o handshake
o in certain religious services, to pray
o in various occult rituals
* to express friendship or love,
* to enjoy physical contact (not necessarily of erotic character),
* for emotional support,
* to guide (a child, a blind person, in darkness, etc.)
* to urge to follow,
* to keep together (in a crowd or in darkness),
* to help the other walking, standing or climbing up,
* to dance.
* to arm wrestle

Holding hands is putting our strengths over someone else's weaknesses.

Fabulous!

God. . . and Port City Java (Part 1)

2007-08-07T18:06:00.000-05:00

This has been an amazing summer. Sad to say we only have two weeks left. Two weeks. We started with about 12.

It has been a long but exciting summer. The beginning did not start out as well as I had hoped; definitely all my fault. But, all in all, there were a whole lot of tears, a whole lot of talking, and a whole lot of love. No worries. What seems like it can tear us down can only make us stronger.

God has been amazing. I learn more and more every day about him and his love and mercy . . . especially working with the children. There can be great days, and there can be tough days. But what is amazing about the tough days is that there is always one small simple reminder from a hug or from a comment from one of the children that allows me to know that I am still doing what I am here to do; still working in the place I was put.

I have really had an amazing summer. My walk has become greater, and even stronger with Rob as we put our Maker in the center. God has been my stronghold while Port City Java has been my fall back. Their coffee is probably the only thing that can make my day 10 times better than it already is . . . speaking of that . . . coffee break.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I am dating the most amazing guy ever. You should be jealous.  The heart that he has beats anything I have ever seen. His compassion for me, my family, my friends, and even the things of my passion, has been the most amazing ever. It is pretty awesome when I can get a comment about our relationship and how we both do not seemed to be so wrapped up in each other, but is wrapped up in Him. My goal is for my walk to be in the right place with my Maker so that I can be who I need to be for Rob.

Sooo, some exciting news . . . I am going to be transferring in the Fall! I left this past semester from Campbell and headed to Caswell with a mindset that I was going to send in applications and get accepted within one summer. Guess what!? I put in an application to UNC Wilmington and UNC Greensboro, and will be attending UNC Wilmington in about 2 and half weeks!! Very very excited about that! Now I just have to find a place to live, which honestly I know will fall into place!

But anyway, I hope this was enough to catch you up! Hopefully I will let you know more soon!!

Fabulous!

Lots to Talk About

2007-02-22T00:39:00.001-05:00

I really haven't written in a long time. . . I know, I'm a slacker. . . but its okay. You get an update now!

School is going pretty well. I haven't had to hard of a time with my classes, well except for the stressing to get all my work in on time kinda hard time, but does that really count? Staying busy. . . but thats nothing new either.

I like being an RA. . . but there are definitely sometimes that I really miss actually working. Like a “real job” what I figure. Yeah, I am getting paid for this, but I feel really lazy, and I hate that feeling. But I was at one point considering not doing it again next year, but then I thought about how I am not a quitter, and I like to really give a job the go-run, so in other words, I am giving it another year.

Krissy has been in the hospital for quite a few days now. She had her first surgery, one where they put a grid on her brain with 139 electrodes in it so they can monitor her seizures. She is supposed to have a bunch of seizures so they can tell exactly where they are coming from, and eventually they want to take out the place of her brain that are causing them. Very scary, but very much a miracle. Big Miracle. Only He can make that happen.

I got the most beautiful flowers ever for Valentines day. . . they are so beautiful. But whats really sad, is that I got them on my visit to see my favorite person ever. . . and then I was headed up to VA to see my sister, and in stead of bringing them inside, I left them in my car, with the window cracked, but they froze. I was super sad. I am still super sad. But I know they were beautiful, and that the person who gave them to me is the greatest ever. Speaking of him, I got to see him this past weekend, and I have to say I had a lot of fun with him. Like him a lot, and can't wait to spend more time with him. It snowed. Did I mention that? Yeah, I am not a fan of snow, but something about being there with him, and it snowing. . . kinda made it a bit special. I usually don't like snow, but for some reason, loved every bit of it this past weekend. Crazy huh? Yeah, I'm crazy. . . for him.

One thing that has really been on my mind lately is things becoming “real”. Something that came to mind during interviews, which I will talk about in a minute, was when talking about events from last summer, one of my favorites was when we went on a walk through the life of Jesus. We were blindfolded and all we could do was listen and follow. It made his life real. You can read the story over and over again, but sometimes it never sets in until you experience it, or until it is made real. One thing that has been sort of an encouragement is to make things that seem impossible, real. My walk with my maker. . . I can't ever really know what He is saying or what He wants me to do without really walking with Him and allowing myself to clear my mind and listen. Making our conversations “real”. Just a thought!

Interviews were the weekend before last. I really enjoyed mine. I def talked a lot. . . but I am hoping I get to be 2nd in command for Sea breeze :). But we shall see how that goes!

Spring Break is coming up. . . and I have quite a bit to do before then. . . I have to do a dorm program, which might be some fun, but we will see. . . then I have Choir tour that weekend, then a week lol, then my sweetie is coming that weekend, and there is a Youth Rally at my church. Pretty exciting and pretty busy at the same time. Get excited. I at least get a break and get to see my sweetie.

Well thats pretty much it for now. . . there is probably a bit more to talk about, but I can't remember right now. . . anyway, have a great week!

Fabulous!

Higher Ground (1898)

2007-01-30T15:53:00.000-05:00

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14 (NKJV)
I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. Philippians 3:14 (NLT)

Written by: Johnson Oatman

Music by: Charles H. Gabriel

Other songs by Oatman: “Count Your Blessings”

His hymns focused primarily on Christina growth and personal victory.

Thought Behind Hymn: “It isn’t enough to know Christ; we need to know Him better and more deeply.”

I’m pressing on the upward way,
New heights I’m gaining every day;
Still praying as I’m onward bound,
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up and let me stand
By faith on heaven’s table land,
A higher plain that I have found:
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
Though some may dwell where these abound,
My prayer, my aim is higher ground.

I want to live above the world,
Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;
Fr faith has caught the joyful sound,
The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I’ll pray ‘til heaven I’ve found
“Lord, lead me on to higher ground.”

Lord lift me up and let me stand
By faith on heaven’s table land,
A higher plain that I have found:
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

Fabulous!

Things I Love

2007-01-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

You know what?
I love fresh clean towels that come out of the dryer. I love crazy shoes. I love being by myself sometimes, but I also love to be around people. I love sunny days. I love to drive with a bunch of friends. I love telephone calls. I love my cell phone. I love aerobics. I love coffee and lots of random creamers. I love to take pictures. I love my curly hair. I love to buy new underwear. I love clean clothes. I love the color white. I love the color green. I love the beach. I love Fort Caswell. I love showers. I love clean shaved legs. I love loud music. I love schedules. I love to decorate things. I love to sleep. I love to take showers, and to get ready for my days. I love talking to people and finding out new things. I love my mom and my sister. I love food. I love Bing Crosby. I love Puerto Rico pictures. I love new coffee mugs. I love love-stories. I love watching movies. I love to hear about others lives. I love to dance. I love to talk. I love friends. I love to read blogs. I love to dress up. I love necklaces. I love to watch bands play. I love old movies. I love male voices. I love toboggans. I love baseball games. I love Victoria secret. I love text messages. I love Starbucks. I love sunsets. I love to sing. I love my guitar. I love dinner dates with friends. I love to lay outside and get dark. I love peanuts and coke. I love Dairy Queen. I love Diamond Rio and Bohemian Rhapsody. I love musicals. I love stripes. I love happy people. I love laughing. I love to smile. I love meeting new people. I love happy endings. I love polka dots. I love Big Blue. I love my STB buddy. I love to hang out with kids. I love random facts. I love cartoons. I love Phil of the Future on Disney Channel. I love pop tarts. I love Diet Pepsi with Lime. I love to be surprised, but that’s only when I don’t know it’s a surprise. I love to walk. I love the stars. I love to hear it rain. I love to sleep when it’s raining. I love to sing harmony. I love being in church on Sundays. I love to hear what people think. I love to see smiles. I love it when people love others. I love. . . well, you get the idea.

Fabulous!

VA Trip take 2

2007-01-14T17:29:00.000-05:00

VA trip number two. . .

This is what we thought about our VA trip. . .

All of us felt this way. . .

Things are going to turn out well, but man that was a long trip.

Surgery is around February 12, 2007 and will happen for about 3 weeks or so. Pray hard. Its gonna be a tough one, but it will turn out well.

Fabulous!

Happy New Year!!

2007-01-01T19:27:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year!! I am so thankful that I got a chance to start another year. No new years resolutions, but there are things that will be accomplished in 2007. PTL for great times and great memories of 2006, but I definitely look forward to this upcoming year.

Semester number 4 starts in about 2 weeks. It should go good. I am pretty excited about it. There are a few classes that I am excited about taking, but then who knows how that will go! I did however quit DQ again. I applied to be a resident assistant, but I haven’t heard anything yet. But I still have a little bit. If I don’t get that job, then I will more than likely just take up some extra hours at the ticket office.

I have an opportunity to go to Italy in May on a UChoir tour. It’s going to be fun, but man I am already nervous about it! But how cool that I get to sing in Italy! Get excited about that!

On a more serious note, on the road trip of life, I found myself with a flat tire, and no spare. sometimes I seem to find myself feeling like that prodigal son. . . the times where he had a great life, but because he wanted more, he took it and found that all it did was bring tiny moments of excitement. But once those moments were over, and he had nothing else, it was then that he decided to go back to the good life. Every once in a while, I find myself feeling like that. Feeling like I could be doing so much better in life if I took it in my hands. All I have found is that I am super wrong, and God will use whatever he can to make me realize that.

This semester went by really fast. I did alright with grades and even did alright in the beginning with my walk. But as the semester progressed, I found that I wasn’t taking that time out to do a devotion or to say a little prayer, and even not saying a blessing before eating. It got rough. I kept finding myself further and further away from my Maker, and even though I knew that, I never did anything about it. But then I started thinking about how I needed this “divine intervention” and how I needed something big to bring me back to where I needed to be. Back to where I had begun when the semester started. Right after Caswell. Honestly, I think I spent more time looking for a big thing that I was missing the still small voice that we should be listening for.

I came to Caswell this weekend for a reunion. I came a little bit early with the boy, and we spent some time together and went to a wedding of some former staff, which was very beautiful, and we did some volunteer time, I guess you could call it that anyway, for a conference that was here. Well, last night, new years eve, I went to the service, and one thing that stuck out in my mind from it all was when the guy was talking about something, but brought up the prodigal son. Yeah, it may have been a 30 second talk about it, but that really stuck out in my mind. Well I thought about it, and a song came to mind about “When God Ran”. Read the lyrics. . . then there’s more.

Almighty God. The Great I AM. Immovable Rock. Omnipotent. Powerful. Awesome. Lord. Victorious Warrior. Commanding King of Kings. Mighty Conqueror. And the only time, the only time I ever saw him run,
Was when he ran to me. He took me in His arms, held my head to His chest, and said “my son’s come home again”, lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes, and with forgiveness in his voice, he said “Son, do you know I still love you”. He caught me by surprise, when God ran.
The day I left home. I knew I’d broken his heart. And I wondered then, if things could ever be the same. Then one night, I remembered his love for me. And down a dusty road, ahead I could see. It was the only time. The only time I ever saw him run.
Was when he ran to me. He took me in his arms, held my head to His chest and said “my son’s come home again, lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes, and with forgiveness in his voice, he said “son do you know I still love you”. He caught me by surprise, and he brought me to my knees, when God ran. I saw Him run to me. And then I ran to him.

He was waiting on me to go to Him. He definitely tried getting my attention, with things from finances, to stress about jobs, even to my car. All I had to do was give it up to him, and things would have been taken care of. But I didn’t, and I knew it. But what the great thing is, is that I know, and I found that talking it out with him, and asking for his help, his “divine intervention” in my life, I know now that things are going to be alright.

One thing that is great about trusting God is that he does things for you that you would have never thought of. He has definitely given me a blessing that I can’t help but thank him for. He brought me a very special person that has been nothing short of amazing. Someone that is great to talk to, and has a great heart, and tries hard to live his life according to his purpose. My prayer is that we can use what our Maker has given us together to bring glory to Him and keep our relationship focused on Him. It does take work. But with the hearts and mind sets he has given both of us, all we have to do is try. Try hard, love Jesus. You got it.

Fabulous!

The Day Before Christmas

2006-12-24T02:25:00.000-05:00

It's almost Christmas time. . . and I am super excited. . . well,except that its only 75 degrees out and doesn't feel like Christmas at all!!! I do however love the Christmas tree, and the lights that I can stare at for hours at a time and just smile thinking about all the great memories around the Christmas tree. Pretty exciting.

This guy is probably the greatest kid I have ever met in forever. He amazes me every single day and its wonderful. . . I can't wait to see what's going to happen with this! I crack myself up sometimes, because of how nervous I get around him when I know that I will be great and its going to be very enjoyable, I mean, his company always is. . . but man do I ever get nervous! Like crazy nervous, to the point of loss of appetite. ME! Loss of appetite! Isn't that a mess! Anyway, I could probably talk about him ALL DAY, so we'll move on.

This past semester went real good I think. I did a lot better on grades than I did last semester. Been doing the Dairy Queen and Parking Office thing, which has tired me out like crazy. This next semester I am through with DQ and I did apply to be an RA, but haven't heard anything yet. . . But if I don't get that, I still won't be at DQ and will probably just pick up extra hours at the parking office. Not to bad, but I do know that living on campus has helped a lot with stress and driving, and even my grades, so thats all a plus. I just got to remember that life is all taken care of, that I just have to lift it all up to my Maker.

My sister has an appointment on January 5th to meet with the surgeon. Scares the mess out of me that she is this close to surgery, but then I think of all the things that could benefit for her out of all this, so again, I just have to trust Him to be in the midst of it all. Keep her in your prayers.

Well, life is hard, and gets harder everyday, but its those 1000 little moments that get you through. I'll take 1000 over 1 anyday, and I def get excited about that!

Fabulous!

Happy Birthday!!

2006-12-09T23:38:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to me!! It has been a great day! Thanks to all those who made it special!

Its almost Christmas time!! Get excited!!

Have a good one!

Fabulous!

Try hard, Love Jesus

2006-11-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

I have had to repeat this to myself a lot lately. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I have had to remind myself that I can't make it in life on my own. From crazy UChoir concerts, to voice class, to finals and papers, to Dr. Appts in Va. Life is tough, but I know I can't do it on my own.

There is less than a week left. (Well, then finals). Crazy huh!? This semester has gone by fast, but I can say that it has been a good one. I have done so much better with grades than last year, which is def a great thing. Working and doing other activities have left me stressed as usual but whats new?! But you know what? I will make it. I have before and today is no different.

Christmas is coming soooon! Working on Christmas cards as we speak! I get excited, because it means school is almost over, its time to get a christmas tree, and its a great time to spend with family. . . I know I already spend a lot of time with my family, but its always different. Hey, my uncle is coming the weekend of the 8th through the 10th which we are all pretty stoked about. Haven't seen him in a while, and I think it will be good for all of us. Get excited!!

The boy is wonderful. :) Get excited!

Okay, so underware shopping is becoming a fun hobby. . .lol, but what is even cooler is that today I got a $10 dollar off coupon to use during the month of my birthday from my favorite underware place! How cool is that!? Yeah, I got excited.

Well life is a mess but it will get better if we make it better. Remember the good things and find the great things everyday and it will make life tons better. Count your blessings.

Fabulous!

New (pretty much a.d.d) Thoughts!

2006-11-14T15:27:00.000-05:00

Is LIFE like a box of CHOCOLATES? (I mean, some days, I just can’t associate LIFE with CHOCOLATE. That could just be a sin!)

“Come on everybody, let’s go meet . . . The PANSIES!!”

: Some ways I found that I am definitely fit to be an Ed Major:
~I love cartoons and the Disney Channel.
~Phil of the Future is my favorite.
~I think pretty literally.
~Instances of this just crack me up. But CANNOT be mentioned.
~Any kind of “get together” I find myself attracted to the younger aged, rather than the ones my age.

Meditation Bracelet:
Crack me up. It was a gift from my Ma at DQ, and she def told me it was a meditation bracelet . . . which she is btw Buddhist and believes in the same God I do, which makes it even funnier.

Learning moment . . . or epiphany . . . either way you choose:
Who cares? The past is the past and CANNOT be changed. Move on. Try hard to not repeat mistakes, and LOVE Jesus. Duh.

School Days:
School is almost over. 10 more days of classes. I have a concert tomorrow that I have to be up unbelievably early to be in Gboro by 715. Makes for a long day, but it should be fun. I have done soon much better this semester too, which is def a positive . . . I sucked at life the past two, so this makes up for it lol.

All right that’s about it. . . hope your having a great week, and don’t be too distracted about where my thoughts were going on this one!!

Fabulous!

Hmm. . . Just some thoughts

2006-11-12T00:44:00.000-05:00

I was thinking I would do something different for this one . . . but then I thought about it and it’s pretty much the same as always . . . a random bunch of Me thoughts.

Everyone has a song. . . YOUR own song . . . but has your song lost its joy? Find the joy in your song again. . . If you need help, ask. HE can show you the joy in your song again.

(Nahum 1:7 The LORD is good; he protects his people in times of trouble; he takes care of those who turn to Him) I tell you what, my God has been MORE than GOOD to me!

Why is it that we get scared? Scared of things like getting in front of a large group of people . . . scared of walking down a walkway alone . . . scared of opening up to those close to you.
Why is it that we get this way? Is it because we then have to show weakness? I was watching a TV show the other day about how a girl was running track, but she didn’t think she could handle it and wanted to quit. . .until she finally opened up to someone close to her and found out that they felt the same way. . . all the time.

Heartbreak hurts. Everyone knows this. But . . . without hurt, there is not learning and growing.

Fear of hurting someone else? Messing things up? Taking things too fast. . . I was told that if both feel that way then why be afraid? Pretty much I took it as if both are on the same sheet of music and something is done wrong, both can find the mistake and fix it before moving on. . .

If it is His will, no fear . . . Consistently ask that there is no fear . . . that its never too early or too late . . . that its okay to take your time . . . things happen for a reason and it is all in a perfect plan. HIS perfect plan. HE makes things happen.

Ladies! Hold on to your teeth!!! (A lady said this on our women’s retreat) *crack up*

Yeah, I know, random . . . but it at least gives a little of what I have been thinking about lately.

Fabulous!

Thought of the day.

2006-11-03T14:29:00.000-05:00

Hmm.

Sometimes what is on the inside isn’t always what you can see on the outside. This picture has a person you can see their whole self and then in the reflection of the window you can see something totally different; a scared face in the forward person but in the reflection a happy face. It may be usually the other way around, but this, looking at this picture randomly today, gave me a thought. Isn’t it hard to show something different on the outside than what’s on the inside? Why is it that we can’t just take what were given?

James 13-15 (The Message) says:
Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing . . . Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven—healed inside and out.

Every morning when you wake up you have 2 choices. Your first choice is that you can get out of bed and moan and grumble that you just might have to work or go to class. You could be sleepy, and complain about it all day. Make yourself so miserable that you have a terrible day, and then go to bed that night, still complaining, because of that waste of a day. Or, your second choice is that you can wake up first thing in the morning and tell yourself you are going to have a great day. This day was given to you. It was given so that it can be enjoyed and that you can be thankful for another day. Go to work, do what needs to be done and do it glad heartedly. Class is for your future. You go to school to get the information needed to fulfill your life to the fullest.

Be thankful.

You might only have so many left.

If you’re hurting, pray. If you feel great, sing. If you have sinned . . . you can be healed.

Fabulous!

Who knew picking someone else's nose could be funny?

2006-10-24T16:18:00.000-05:00

Crack me up.

Fabulous!

You play with fire, you wind up burned.

2006-10-17T13:00:00.001-05:00

Mountaintops and Valleys

2006-10-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

I have to say that this has been the busiest, most stressful past few weeks ever!

I am still working on getting my paperwork or whatnot in for the School of Ed. It’s tripping me out because I am in the School of Ed but they still need my application form? Oh well, I just know I have till the end of the semester to turn it in. Big deal.

I got to see my special friend this past weekend, and I have to admit, I was unbelievably nervous. Don’t know why I ever get that way because I know I am really not but I sure do make a big deal about a lot of stuff on the inside.  I mean, what kind of name is Bubb Rubb anyway?! Ha-ha, Good times. . . I am hoping anyway. I hate that inner voice that is always sounding discouraging . . . for instance, this whole thing about being really far away. It’s great until I actually think about it, and then I constantly am asking myself, “is it really worth it” or “I know it seems great now, but where is this going to go?” I don’t want to sound negative or oddly discouraging, but really, where is this going to go? Then I remember that my faith relies in Him above, and that’s where I just have to let things be. My crazy, think-too-hard self has to let things be.

I got into a conversation with a great friend yesterday about missing places. I worked three very great summers at two even greater places. My first summer was spent on the mountain. Mundo’s Mountain. Phenomenal summer. I had a great time . . . but it was so hard to leave. Then the second summer was spent there again, yet this time, it really was only hard to leave a few people. I had developed friendships, but not a love for the summer like the one before. It was very stressful, but God placed people in my path that I will never in my lifetime forget the impact they had on me. They are some of my favorite people. This past summer I spent at Caswell. Amazing place. Phenomenal people. A fantastic summer. I was okay to leave however, because I knew that it wouldn’t be the last time I saw these people. It wasn’t that hard. But, this past weekend I got to see those very same people and realized it was harder to leave this time. Yeah, maybe not everyone was a good thing to see, I actually could have gone without seeing some lol. . . But there were those that also had a great impact on me that I already miss like crazy and it’s only been like 2 days!! But then I do know again that I will see them again. We were talking about mountaintops and valleys. . . Steven Curtis Chapman sings a fabulous song talking about these, and there is a link in the title where you can hear it. Just find “Mountain”. To give some of the words that really explain what “the mountain” means:

You bring me up here on this mountain
For me to rest and learn and grow
I see the truth up on the mountain And I carry it to the world far below
So as I go down to the valley
Knowing that You will go with me
This is my prayer, Lord
Help me to remember what You've shown me
Up on the mountain
Up on the mountain

I cherish these times up on the mountain
But I can leave this place because I know
Someday You'll take me home to live forever
Up on the mountain

My friend said that once people leave that you remember from the summer you have to descend back to the valley . . .or take a 4 hour drive home. You would be amazed how much you think about and talk about, by yourself, yes, in the car by yourself.

God gives me tons to think about, I just have the hardest time with straying away and getting away from my connections with him. Can’t ever be good. My prayer lately has been to allow myself to get off my own pedestal and allow him to be my source.

There really has been a lot of stress in my life here lately, and it’s my own fault. I allow my life to be so hectic that it gets completely full and I am running myself silly. School is stressful, relationships, finances, family, own needs . . . just too many. But they are getting in control, because slowly but surely I am able to lift them up and my Maker is taking the weight off my shoulders.

Sorry for such a long blog. . . Had a little bit of time and this allows me to get my thoughts out. Hope your having a fantastic week, if you are around here, enjoy the rain . . . and the great feel of tennis shoes!! ;) Take care of you.

Fabulous!

Ready for the Beach.

2006-10-13T00:32:00.000-05:00

So ready.

Fabulous!

Hermits

2006-10-05T18:33:00.000-05:00

Last year I commuted to school. . . yeah, it was a rough year, but now that I think about it, it wasn't so bad. Since I moved on campus, I can say that I have had the "college experience" where I guess you aren't experiencing college unless you live on campus? Or something like that. Well. . . I like living on campus or whatever, but sometimes I wish I could be able to just leave, and go to my home. Go back and be able to avoid some situations and even some people as bad as that sounds. Its better that I am here and have to deal with them, because otherwise I wouldn't ever learn, but man oh man do I wish I wouldn't have to deal this much. Life is great, but man the details are a mess.

I can't wait to see him. . . see you. . . Been too long since I have last seen you. . . and good gracious I don't even know what i'm gonna do when I see you!! Get excited! You know I am!!

Have a fabulous weekend!!!

Fabulous!

Wow, crazy life!

2006-10-03T15:47:00.001-05:00

Soooo many things have gone on the past few days. SO MANY!!

I have this choir thing on Oct 14th at Elon and I am super excited about it. The song was written by one of our pro's here and I think he has done a phenominal job at it. The song has different modes in it with Orff instruments playing in it as the choir sings, along with a liturgical dance. I am really excited about singing it, and we get to practice all together tomorrow afternoon so I am super excited! PS yeah thats the same day as the day I get to see all of my friends from FC so I am even more excited about that!

I went to the doc yesterday, something I never do, because of pretty much a week long headache. He def told me that I had muscular tension because of stress which was causing the headache. So he pretty much gave me this muscle relaxer headache pill that I am not allowed to take before driving lol. Duh. Stressed. Me. Who knew?

So I def got pulled last night. Kinda funny, but I tell you what, I about wet myself. I didn't get pulled for speeding, no, cause that would have been too easy, but I did however get pulled for not completely stopping at a red light. The one right smack dab in the middle of Lillington! Go figure. Go me. PTL for a warning.

I have to tutor for 10 hours for my Ed class this semester, and I went today for my first session. I am super excited! It was so great to get to work with kids! And the teacher I got is really great, she is a CU grad, go Camels, and loves teaching. I am really glad to get to work with her, because it not only gets my energy level up about teaching, but it is going to be great experience working in a classroom setting with 3rd graders!!

So yes, that does add yet another event in my crazy life. But its going to work out. I can do it, there is nothing I can't handle lol. . . well, I hope not! I just have to remember to take it one day at a time and remember that everyday is new and I am never alone!

Miss you tons my frrriiieeennnd!

Fabulous!

Proud Supporter of Krispy Kreme!

2006-09-29T12:57:00.000-05:00

Fabulous!

Mmm, great day.

2006-09-27T17:14:00.000-05:00

Today has def been a much better day. Things have gone great, had an exciting morning and am finishing out my day with a fun event.

I got the opportunity to go to my old high schools See You At The Pole this morning. It turned out great. Its really exciting to see youth on fire for our Maker. Some even brought tears to my eyes realizing that they love him.

I got a chance to spend some time with my family this morning, which is always good. . . and finally got my car inspected! Yay! (since it was due in oh, i dont know, MAY!) But it feels good to finally get that, and my ma, off my back.

I miss this kid soooo much. It breaks my heart that I can't go see him this weekend. I know I am always busy and doing something, but sometimes, I have to. Its the way I am built. I am a busy girl, and love every bit of it. I can't wait however to see him. That great face. :) Big hug is on hold for that one, and its driving me crazy that I can't have one now!! (PS, just for you, I heard "Come Just As You Are" on the radio this morning, and because of a fabulous memory, you have been on my mind ALL DAY LONG!)

Its funny how people randomly come back into your life. Two instances today where people I haven't seen or heard from in forever just randomly pop up, like driving out of the bookstore parking lot today as I was walking by. . . crazy huh?! Yeah, I though so too. But who knows. My Maker may have something in store. Just got to be patient. . . especially when it comes to a boy in Boone.

So today was a great day. I am def getting ready to take a nap, because 6oclock came really early this morning! Hope you have had a great day too!!

Fabulous!

Bad day.

2006-09-25T21:56:00.000-05:00

To make this day worse, I would probably have to become injured. It has been that bad.

Fabulous!

A sight I long to see. . .

2006-09-22T13:51:00.000-05:00

A great day.

2006-09-20T17:22:00.000-05:00

Today I can honestly say has been a pretty good day. It has been real positive. . . well except for just a bit of motivation getting out of the bed earlier than 5 minutes before class. . . but it works.

I think its great for people to change. Its the best thing ever actually. The only negative part about change is going back to old habits. I believe that you are going to mess up but that you should try to steer clear of things that you know will lead you back in the opposite direction. The only way I know that change is positive is when you try hard, and love Jesus.

I have so much going on within this semester. Honestly, the month of October is going to be crazy. Its going to be a blast, including getting to spend time with a special friieeennndd, and going to the mountains, and a beach trip, and much much more, but it will be long and I can't wait but I dread it at the same time lol. Never good, but oh so exciting!

My Ma and Sister got back on Monday. They are good, and my sister is going to have some more testing and whatnot done very soon, so if you would remember her in your prayers.

My Maker is awesome, and is with me everyday. . . couldn't be more exciting!

I hope you have a great rest of the week, and know that everyday is new, and HIS mercy is NEW EVERY MORNING!!

Fabulous!

Happiness.

2006-09-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

"Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So,
Work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt, and
Dance Like no one's watching."

(The link where this was found is in the title. . . I did not write this, but this was encouraging for me today!)

Fabulous!

Just When I Need Him Most

2006-09-18T00:10:00.000-05:00

Just when I need him, Jesus is near,
Just when I falter, just when I fear;
Ready to help me, ready to cheer,
Just when I need him most.

Just when I need him, Jesus is true,
Never forsaking all the way thro';
Giving for burdens pleasures anew,
Just when I need him most.

Just when I need him, Jesus is strong,
Bearing my burdens all the day long;
For all my sorrow giving a song,
Just when I need him most.

Just when I need him, he is my all,
Answering when upon him I call;
Tenderly watching lest I should fall,
Just when I need him most.

Just when I need him most,
Just when I need him most;
Jesus is near to comfort and cheer,
Just when I need him most.

William C. Poole, 1907

Another day, another glorious day!

2006-09-15T22:19:00.000-05:00

Gosh, I miss that silly boy! To see him would probably be the best thing in the world.

My sis is still gone. . . hopefully they will be home on Monday. I definately can not wait.

Its been a busy but kinda stressful week. Tomorrow and Sunday will be so nice, because I will get to relax a bit and spend some time for "me". I know that sounds funny, but I am just one of those people who need me time, otherwise, well. . .it won't be too pretty. I just get a little "people overwhelmed". :) But thats just me~

My Maker has been working a lot in me lately. He is allowing me to see things in a different aspect rather than I guess how I have originally viewed things. For example, a silly boy, and not being able to see him, and I guess getting frusterated with it because we just can't find time to get together. I hate that. But, I have been really trying to trust in HIM to know whether or not this is what He has in store, and just believing in HIM to bring us together. I honestly really really hope that we are something He has planned, cause this guy has to be the most amazing person ever~! Just the things he says, and the little notes he leaves with things that I can read and smile over because I know he is thinking about me, and well, since I can't see him, all I can do is talk to him and email and whatnot. . . but I tell you what, lately my day wouldnt be complete without hearing from him in some way, preferably his voice :) hehe, but it really wouldnt be complete. I just look forward to that all the time, and honestly, I love every bit of it! But all I can do is keep looking up, otherwise it wouldn't have come this far~

Days are great, and things keep getting better. All I can do is thank my Maker though, cause I have definately had nothing to do with it!

"You don't even know what tomorrow will bring-what your life will be! For you are a bit of smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes. Instead, you should say, 'If the LORD wills, we will live and do this or that'". James 4:14-16

Fabulous!

Great Times!

2006-09-14T14:33:00.000-05:00

This is the greatest girl you will ever meet in your life. I am really kinda worried about her though. . .but oh God has so much in store for her and I can't wait to see what that is! I love her to death, and honestly would give all that I am for her. She is the best friend anyone could ever ask for! (and an even better sister) You should be jealous, cause she is my sister and not yours!! :) Keep her in your prayers this week. . . she is having some testing and monitoring done in UVa and I really hope this is a positive step! I think it has already brought her self esteem up ginormously and she has become so brave!

Yay for a brave and wonderful sister!

Fabulous!

The Lighter Side of the VA Trip.

2006-09-10T17:44:00.000-05:00

(I will finish the other one later.)

VA Trip

Skunks are bad, they are NOT your friends.
About 3 Starbucks trips.
Sketch-city RR stop.
Dinner at a smelly Wendy's.
Random "friend" chit-chats.
Scary fog (Scary frog) ((Scary tree)).
"Oh, I didn't know we were going to the mountains!"
"Look at him passing me like a maniac. Why didn't I think of that?"
3 point turns in mid traffic
Su madre.
Su madre loco.
"I pissed it, oops I mean I missed it!"
Nurkle head.
"Now hiring 3 BBQ bacon jack melts (for 3.99)."
Today, I learned how to stop at crosswalks.
"McDonald's, Eat Fresh!"
"He had some fuzzy thing sticking out from his butt."
"YOU are the froth of my coffee."
"YOU are the caramel of my latte."
Oh, toilet seats.
"I don't know if he knows or not, but it's clear glass."

Okay, so if you didn't know, my sis had a doctor appointment at UVa on Thursday, so me ma and her took off and had a blast. The testing went well, but just keep her in your prayers! :)

Fabulous!

"Love is stronger than any addiction. . . hell, it is one" - Madea

2006-09-10T01:29:00.000-05:00

If there is one thing I have learned from a movie, it has to be from Madea. Yeah, she/he whatever is a strange character, but her quotes and thoughts have to be the greatest thing I have heard. Great times.

There have been a few things lately that I have really been struggling with. I feel like a teeter-totter. . . you know, at one point you and Abba are right there together and your allowing him to guide you, and then right after that you are back where you started and are trying to do things on your own. Well, as I was talking about this to Him, this song continues to come to mind. . . I included the majority of the lyrics:

**When I cannot feel, when my wounds don't heal
Lord I humbly kneel, hidden in You
Lord, You are my life so I don't mind to die
Just as long as I am hidden in You

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by

When I know I’ve sinned when I should have been
Crying out my God and hidden in you
Lord I need you now, more than I know how
So I humbly bow, hidden in you

If I could just sit with You a while, if You could just hold me
Nothing could touch me though I'm wounded, though I die
If I could just sit with You a while, I need You to hold me
Moment by moment, 'till forever passes by**

I know the only way I will ever make it through is to take time just to sit, just to listen and to hear what my Maker is telling me. . . I have to keep telling myself that I can't do it on my own and everytime I feel that way, this song keeps coming to mind and it allows me to remember to sit and to listen and to stop trying to do things my way.

I have had a great first few weeks of school. Its amazing the difference in commuting and living on campus. I love my roomate, I couldnt have asked for a better one! I have made some great friends, and continued to develop friendships with ones from before.

I got the chance to have a conversation with a friend the other night, and we were just talking about risks and why its good to take them sometimes. I haven't been a big risk taker lately. . . I guess its out of fear of being hurt again. One thing he told me though was basically that I will never get over that fear of getting hurt unless I put myself in a place where there are possibilities. No, its not saying that I should hold up a sign that says "I am ready for disaster" but it is telling me that I should just put the past behind me and look at today. Yeah, the past seems to still be around, for instance a phone call the other morning that about made me wet myself. . .but who knows. . . I won't unless I take a risk. . .or for better word, a chance. Take that opportunity and go with it. (When I am given the opportunity, I will know, and then I can go with it!)

I miss caswell. I miss the family feeling, my kids, the long walks or jogs on the beach when I needed "me" time. . . I miss the feeling of being home there. But I tell you what, I may not be there right now, but it is definately in my heart and constantly in my thoughts. I guess the roads of Buies Creek for my "me" time is good enough. :)

Well its pretty late. . . starting to sound like my friieenndd staying up so late. By the way, great guy. Amazing guy. (I mean, he fits my standards hehe). Anyway, hopefully I will get to write again soon. . . well this is kind of a long one, so it may be a while!

Fabulous!

An Update

2006-09-02T00:20:00.000-05:00

School is going great. Enjoying every minute of it. Already worn out, but thats how it goes. I am debating now on whether or not I want to double major. I was talking to my ma about it and she thinks it would be a good idea cause I could do it, but I think now my issue is getting past the talking about it part and actually getting into the classes. Pretty much it might only take a semester or so, but once I get past the actually getting into the major I will be okay. But til then. . .

The weather has been phenominal the past two days. Yeah, I know its been that tropical hurricane thing. . . but have you looked at the sky? Its been beautiful. There were a bunch of really grey clouds but over some trees there was blue sky and the sun was peeking through. Absolutely fabulous.

"Something so great, you just cant keep it to yourself." He is amazing. I miss him tons. Yeah, I don't like to admit it, because I definately don't want another heartbreak. . . and its not like he is 5 bagillion miles away. Anyway. . . just gotta keep telling myself that if our paths are meant to cross, then they will.

Respect is something I think needs to be earned. Once earned it can be lost. Can be lost quick. I am not a fan of the church kid-school kid appearance. I personally believe that you should be one way all the time. It honestly doesnt bother me which way, cause at least you are one person all the time. But this past week I have definately lost a bit of respect to a few people I actually looked up to at one point in time. Kinda sad, but I know as long as I stay one way all the time, I am okay.

Well I guess this is all for now. . . will try to get another update soon!

Fabulous!

One Passion

2006-08-24T16:55:00.000-05:00

Give me one pure and holy passion.
And give me one magnificent obsession.
Give me one glorious ambition for my life.
To know and to follow hard after you.

To know and follow hard after you,
To grow as your disciple in your truth.
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on, and I will run after you.

I want a pure, passion. I want what was placed in my heart. A passion to follow and to lead the way that I have been told. Given all that I have been given, my return should be to use it to glorify Him. To grow in truth. Run. Find your passion. Run with it.

Fabulous!

Haha, School.

2006-08-19T19:56:00.000-05:00

I get to move into school tomorrow. Big changes, not the school part, but the living there part. I commuted last year, just for the fun of it, but this year I have a dorm room with a roomate and a bunch of other girls. I know I won't have any problems and that I will be fine, but its the fact that pretty much, I am moving out. I will be back yeah, but it won't be the same. I am excited however. Big chance to continue to grow up, to establish who I am and what I am. Its gonna be good. I actually can't wait, but on the other hand, yes I can.

This guy is amazing. Don't quite know why he was brought in my life, but I don't regret one second since I met him. He has such a huge heart, which is something I absolutely adore. Yeah, he is a guy, but hello, I don't expect him to be any different. I just hope that if we are supposed to be together that I will be who I need to be for him. My Maker had/has plans for this, and whatever it is, I have to keep control of my head. Can't lose it. Don't want to lose it, unless its like a metaphor and I am losing my head over him. :) (Good thing, ps)

Camp is over. Back to the real world. No Caswell bubble anymore. I went and worked a bit with my job at school today and can't believe how much I missed it. I love the interaction with people. Yeah, its a pretty lame job, and I get to work with fun people, haha jk, but I do love it. I think I start back at DQ on monday, which is good, tiring, but good. I miss it there too. Again, the interaction with people. Yeah, at Caswell I did interact, but with children, and as much as I loved it and want to continue to do that, interaction with people my own age is a bit different. School will be great this semester. I may be completely exhausted after two jobs, full class load, and a bunch of late nights with a special friiieeennndd. . . which btw, I can't wait to see. Its gonna be good and I am pumped.

Well I guess thats it for today. Move in tomorrow, may not be able to write again for a bit, but since when is that ever an issue? :)

Fabulous!

One More Day

2006-08-17T17:29:00.000-05:00

"Last Night I had a crazy dream
Wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money, or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with you

One more day, One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again; I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone, and keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second, say a million I Love You's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day, One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again; I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

One more day, One more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again; I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day....
Leave me wishing still, for one more day With you."

This song happened to come up the last day of camp. While packing, I had borrowed a friieennd of mine's cd's of his choirs singing and all of a sudden this song plays. Well it took me a few minutes, but then I realized it was him who was the soloist in this song. It was phenominal. Well, either way, this song now holds a true meaning. I keep wishing for one more day. One more time. You get the picture. But it is also true in saying that it would leave me wishing still for one more day.

Since when is one more day not good enough? Every day is a blessing. We should be thankful for the days we have. For those sunsets, friendships, all of those blessings. Makes me sad, yes, because I do wish to see him often, but I had a fabulous summer and even though we are now far away, I still hold those moments together close to me so that eventually I will learn that there is no need to wish for another day.

Just some thoughts.

Fabulous!

Reflections?

2006-08-11T06:35:00.000-05:00

*There is this song about "Do they see Jesus in me?" and it has actually just popped in my head. Sometimes I go on just knowing what my Maker can do for me and just thinking about it, but then there are times where I don't feel it at all. Times where we can sing a song about him and get "God bumps" and know that he is right there and being able to feel Him right there with me, and then there are those other times where I know He is able to do anything and that I can count and call on Him for the desires of my heart, but I only know that. Don't feel it. I encourage those who read this to make sure you find your Maker in all that you do. Don't just go through the motions of knowing it, but truely feel it.

*This is the last full day of Camp Seabreeze. No more after today until possibly next summer. I am completely excited, yet completely exhausted. I fell asleep looking at stars last night and barely remember coming back to get in my bed. I honestly don't think I made it into the covers, lol. I have tried to give as much as I can and it has definately drained me. But thats okay. My purpose here is not to catch up on some sleep, or to make sure I am happy or even okay, but to be here for the kids that come everyday to Camp Seabreeze and want to be able to enjoy the summer they have. So as it is time for our last day, and then one and a half more I am back home. Back home to go back to the hard long days of school and working, and trying to fit everything in. It will probably be just as hard as it is here, but I can guarantee it will be a whole new idea. Summer is almost over and I have enjoyed every last second of it.

*I am gonna miss my twin from here. She is so great. We have so much in common and have had a blast this summer. Yeah, there are a few hard times. . . or may I say, hard people. . . to work with, but after a few nights at San Felipe and McDonald's trips, I think we have overcome it and allowed us to enjoy the summer with no major issues. Its gonna be hard though, cause she definately lives in Florida and goes to Gardner-Webb, but it works. Many, many, many road trips will be made!

*There is a boy. No I do not like him, and yep, thats probably a lie, but I have to tell myself that. He is such a great guy, with a great heart and he loves Jesus, but there is something about him that, I dont know, but there is something that everyone sees on the outside but when getting to know him, some of the things he portrays are not really anything like him. No, I don't want to date him, well, for one, I still get that nervous stomach feeling when I think about it, and two, I have to wait and see if its a God thing or not. He is a neat guy and friends with him are probably the best thing. . . it is the best thing.

*Last thing. I am going home to a mess. I miss my ma and my sister terribly, along with my church family, but things that I get to go back to I am kinda dreading. I get to go back to two great leaders of the church leaving, and then to a friend that has completely lost his mind and has moved away, and then a school financial issues, which I know every college kid deals with. . . but to look at it the way I do is okay, because one thing I have learned to do is to trust that my Maker can handle it and that there is nothing going to go on that doesn't have a purpose.

Thanks for listening. . . definately a 40 minute blog, lol.

Fabulous!

Almost The End

2006-07-24T06:38:00.000-05:00

Well summer is almost over. . . we took our staff picture this morning (which btw I def don't look good in a polo) and we have started week 9. It has been fabulous. God has taught me so much about Him and how I should be working for Him and not for me, and that He is my Anchor. I feel like I have grown up a lot this summer, not just having to live on my own but also just in the things I have learned. I have learned never to leave your bottle of hair gel on the counter and take a nap during staff house clean up because then it will get thrown away. . . I will never again eat the pork from our cafe. . . I will learn that 8:30 is a fabulous time to get up and never complain about the early morning. . . and I will learn that a friendship is worth so much more than anything else, but I am def still working on that! :) It has been a great summer. We have had this ONE summer to do our ONE mission with this ONE staff, and I couldn't have been given a better one. I am looking forward to this year. . . a year filled with new things and a new outlook on something from before, but one thing I don't think I will ever forget is the people I have met this summer, the relationships that were built, and the memories of things I could never explain in words.

Caswell 2006
Ephesians 4:1-7

Fabulous!

Life is good.

2006-06-28T16:50:00.000-05:00

Things are getting better all the time. . . I just have to remember now that it is not me that makes it that way. It is my Maker, and ALL Him. Def need tons of sleep and some Jessica time, but that will happen this weekend. Pray hard. Gotta make it through the week. Love my job, but growing weary. Sad day!!

Fabulous!

Questions. . .

2006-06-18T18:07:00.000-05:00

I def have a question. . . this past week or so, I have been really struggling with my past. . . and getting over my past or what not. There are things that I know I have been forgiven for, but it still lingers, and I almost feel like I'm not worthy of being forgiven or whatever. I know I messed up and I know I will again, but how can I feel like its going to be okay? Just really bothering me that I feel like I can't forgive myself.

Pray. . . I know thats my answer. My Maker is fabulous. You should meet Him. :)

Fabulous!

Thoughts

2006-06-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

Camp is great. I absolutely love it. I have had a great week, which was my first week of campers. They have been great, and I know the rest of the summer will be fabulous.

I am really a chicken. I don't really want to make a commitment, or get too involved that I get hurt. I don't want another heartbreak. But who knows. A good friend of mine told me that if both of us are looking up we will know if our paths are supposed to come together or not. But who will ever know if we aren't looking up?

I burnt my nose. It hurts. Will be wearing more sunscreen on there from now on!

I love home. I miss home. My ma and sis are coming here in 2 weeks. I can't wait. I am soooo excited. I really do miss home, but I def know this is exactly where my Maker wants me to do.

Length is a human term, not God's.

Either way, I hope this updates a bit. We will find out I guess. Don't really know who the anon. commenter is, but it kinda scares me. :)

Thanks!

Fabulous!

2006-05-31T15:16:00.000-05:00

I know I just posted, but I am in the middle of my 3rd day of Caswell, and I have to say its fabulous. I am meeting tons of new people, and absolutley love my job. I may not do it again, cause its def a hard one, but I know I will enjoy it this summer. My job is camp seabreeze, and I get to work with kindergarten and first graders. . . which is great, but either way. I am having fun, and would love to hear from you!

Ps if you want my addres syou have to call or ask my sis :)

I would love to hear from you. . . so you should write or call or whatnot. :) Yall have fun and know I miss you tons!!

Fabulous!

Have a fantastic summer!

2006-05-29T08:47:00.000-05:00

I'm gone! Fort Caswell for the summer!! If you want my address, my sis (krssybutns on aim) will have it for you if you call her and suck up! Have fun!
Jess

Fabulous!

10 days

2006-05-21T21:33:00.000-05:00

I have less than 10 days left til I go to camp. I don't even think I could describe the feelings that I am feeling right now. So excited, yet nervous. I hope I am good at this job. I love kids! I love the beach! I think this would be okay.

Well I just thought I would write. . . have a great week!

Fabulous!

It is well, With my soul

2006-05-13T22:19:00.001-05:00

There was this guy. He had 5 kids and a wonderful wife. His only son, who was 4, he lost because of scarlet fever. The other 4, obviously girls, and his wife were on a ship one day to meet up with him. Well, the ship wrecked with another ship, and sadly he lost his 4 girls. His wife survived. Later, he and his wife were on their way to another place, and the captain of the ship called him aside and said that they were now passing over the place where the other ship had gone down. The man went to his cabin, but found it hard to sleep. He said to himself "It is well; the will of God be done."

When peace like a river, attendeth my way. When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say "It is well, It is well, with my soul." My sin, O the bliss of this glorious tho't, My sin not in part but the whole is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul! O, Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound and the Lord shall decend, "Even so" it is well with my soul. It is well, with my soul, It is well, It is well, with my soul.

Fabulous!

Feels like Kindergarten. . . .again. . .

2006-05-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

So, there are a few things I have learned in the past few months:

One, ants hurt when they bite. Stay far, far away.
Two, while working at Dairy Queen, it seems to be okay to walk around singing "POP goes the Wesiel" all day long. (It makes it even more fun when other people start to sing along with you)
Three, playing cards is fun. . . when your winning.
Four, getting out of school is great. But, it makes you realize how much you miss from not being there. (I miss Feather!)
Five, hateful attitudes develop because of: 1. Too much sleep. 2. Being around the same people for insane amounts of time.
Six, life moves pretty fast. I move out to Caswell at the end of this month, then come back in August, four days before I move into the dorms. It moves very quickly.
Seven, summertime is exciting, I have seen and talked to quite a few of my friends from HS. Super exciting.
Eight, I found out the other day that one of my ex's is getting married. Happy for him, but wow. . . I dont quite know why it isn't settling with me. I didn't want to get married yet. . . guess that is what he was after after all.

So, there are a few things that have been on my mind lately. Thought I would share!! Hope your weekend goes great!

Fabulous!

Choir Spring Concert

2006-05-03T15:59:00.000-05:00

This is hilarious. I look extrememly bored in all of my pictures!! Haha, even though I was only bored half of the concert! For your viewing pleasure. . . (well maybe)

http://www.manring.net/photos/CU_Choir_Spring_Concert_3-28-06/

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Happy Birthday!!

2006-05-02T16:46:00.000-05:00

Today is Bing Crosby's birthday!! Yes, he is no longer alive, but I still think that's pretty cool! Happy Birthday Bing!!

Fabulous!

Yeah. Right

2006-04-22T21:56:00.000-05:00

Today has been a super long day. We had our annual town of Spring Lake Spring Fling today. Yes, in the rain and everything. It started out great, with tons of people, and absolutely adorable little guys in their uniforms ready to play some ball. Well, it did rain. Quite a bit. I was drenched. Head to toe, squeaky shoes, yeah. Drenched. It was still fun though. What was supposed to last from 8 to 7 went from 8 to about 1230.

Work tonight was alright. It was hot, long, and I had to cook. But it works.

Two weeks of school left. Two weeks and I am no longer a freshman. How exciting! No more western civ!! Yay!! :) I can't wait. This week, finals, a few weeks of working, then the beach. Woh, exciting!

I know this might sound kinda funny. . . but I have had to attempt to explain why I think friendships are good for me for right now. Twice in one week actually. I don't mind, because it is kind of flattering. . .but I guess just getting my point across that I haven't been single for a long time, and these past few months have been so great. I get this feeling every time I like someone and it gets kind of serious. This uneasy feeling like something isn't right. Like I am in the wrong place, wrong time. I hate that feeling. I hate feeling like I have to let another person down. I just know that if it is the right guy at the right time, I won't get that feeling. So for now, I think my best route is to make friends. Close, good, fun friendships that won't be something to make me fall farther from my relationship with my maker. . . This is definately what I want. When the right guy is there, I wont get that feeling anymore. I know I won't.

Well, just another day. Tomorrow is going to be exciting. We have homecoming at my church. Big deal. I am really excited. I have to sing with my sister, but I think it will be okay. I am really excited because people I haven't seen in forever are going to be there! Well I hope it goes well, and I will have to write about it later.

For now, it is getting about that time for bed. Long days ahead. . .need my beauty sleep~!

Fabulous!

Another Week at CU

2006-04-19T19:46:00.000-05:00

Life gets harder and harder every day. . . I feel like I am sinking lower and lower into my own hole, one I created, and I don't know how to get out of it.

Things have been going good. My ho friend is back on his feet again, which is always exciting. . . I am getting along with my mom, which is always a good thing. . . I absolutely love McGoof, who has def been my human-savior lately. . . just someone to spend time with thats fun. Much needed. Love it acutally.

So, I know I have talked before about dating. I guess I have made my point to myself that I enjoy being single. . . but then there is that one time where if that one guy wanted to be in a relationship I would be all for it. But I def am enjoying my friendships more than anything. Its great.

School is almost out, and Caswell time is almost here!! I can't wait! Finals are the first week of may. . .then I leave for the beach May 29th! Super exciting!!

Well you have a fabulous rest of your week, and I will write again very soon!!

Fabulous!

Ramblin'

2006-04-04T21:25:00.000-05:00

I struggle a lot with the fact that God is in control and not me. I hate feeling like I am stuck and don't know what I should do or what I should say. What do you do when you feel like you want to go for something, but you are afraid that it is only a fluke and isn't really the thing to do? Or maybe it is the thing you should do, but you are too scared that it isnt going to go well? These are the kinds of things that frusterate me.

Got a packet of papers from Caswell and oh am I excited! All summer at the beach hanging out with kids. . . I think this is a fabulous place for me. Leave at the end of May and don't get back until August. . . Exciting? Absolutely.

I meet tons of new people everyday. I really enjoy getting to know new people. There are actually a few that I really would like to get to know more, but that goes back to my comment above. I have a hard time with falling for people. I get it really bad, but I hate it and how it makes me feel like a little kid, so I try not to do anything about it, and basically talk myself out of it. Its funny, because the ones that I have great friendships with are the ones that I have talked myself out of a "crush" on them. Kinda exciting, but frusterating at the same time. Relationships never seem to go to the positive with me. . . had some rough ones. . . been brought up with the knowledge of hurt and how angry I am with my father, and I think that has to do a lot with me and not wanting to get hurt again. I havent really been thinking about him but recently and ever since I got out of two very hard relationships, I have been thinking about how they aren't even worth it sometimes. How can you hurt someone? Well, if you ask the past fellas they could probably tell me how. . . I feel like I am rambling. . . well, yeah I am.

All in all, I do have a hard time making myself just want to be friends, because I know that is always the right way to go, but then I would like to know more. . . but thats where I just have to wait.

I watched "The Perfect Man" today. Not literally, but the movie. . . and the mom said something that stuck in my mind. I actually wrote it down. . . "New people are only new for a day. After that, they are just people. People who will excite you, disappoint you, scare you a little bit. Its tempting to run away when that happens. Its good for avoiding things. But the problem is, you end up avoiding yourself, avoiding people you love. You end up avoiding life."

You guys have a fabulous rest of your week. . . thanks for reading my ramble~

Fabulous!

Random Thoughts

2006-03-27T16:27:00.000-05:00

I drink non-alcoholic beverages.

What did one little boy say to the other little boy?
You're a fun guy!

I dont really know what was on my mind. . .but I thought I would share. Okay, if you don't get the little boy joke, it is supposed to be what did one mushroom say to the other? Your a fungi! Get it? Yeah, my sister cracked me up asking what one little boy said to the other.

Life is getting harder, but it gets better as the semester goes on. Its great actually. Wouldn't change it for the world. Wait, this is my world.

I am going to go play baseball with a 5 year old.

Fabulous!!

Positive and Encouraging

2006-03-16T09:59:00.000-05:00

The title of my blog is "Fabulous You". (Obviously). One thing that made me want this title is to bring some encouragement to someone else. Yeah, my life is not always the way it should be, but in reality, who's is? Just knowing that what I put on here is in my life, someone may be looking at it and thinking, hey, I've been there too. I guess I just wanted to put this here to let others know that they are not alone.

I am a big "Air 1" fan. You should listen. In Fayetteville/Spring Lake, NC the radio station is 89.3. If you are not in this area, and have access to a computer (BTW if you're reading this, you have no excuse) go to the link at the top and listen online. There are lyrics and all sorts of fun stuff. Its positive and encouraging air1.

Just some more ideas of how to help make life a little easier. Some are helpful. Others may not be as much help. You can look, or you don't have to. Its all you.

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
6. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
7. Take one day at a time.
8. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
9. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
10. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
11. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
12. Get enough rest.
13. Eat right.
14. Get organized so everything has its place.
15. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
16. Every day, find time to be alone.
17. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
18. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope isoften a good "Thank you Jesus."
19. Laugh.
20. Laugh some more!
21. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
22. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the bestthey can).
23. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
24. Talk less; listen more.
25. Slow down.
26. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?"(Romans 8:31)

You have a great day!
Fabulous!

Choir Tour 2006

2006-03-10T13:10:00.002-05:00

What: CU Choir Tour
When: March 2, 2006 thru March 9, 2006
Where: OBX NC
Who: Hmm obviously the University Choir, but I may be wrong.

After having second thoughts about going on tour, this week was completely different than I thought it would be. We went to several churches and a shopping mall to sing. Pretty exciting huh? The friendships I made and the fun I was able to have still blows my mind. I guess God wanted me to see things in a different light, and I was really able to. It was really a fabulous trip, but I am so glad to be home and be able to rest a bit and see some of my friends and family here. I wouldnt take back this trip for anything.

We had to stay each night with a different "host home" which was a family that had offered to house a few of us in the choir for the night. Great homes actually. I stayed with Megan. Great girl. Became really good friends because of it. God showed me a lot throughout the events that occured in the trip. Dont want to say what they are but I have basically learned that I really need to trust in him to direct me.

Last night when I got home, I had to meet with my small group, for the 40 days of purpose campaign that my church is doing. For my first meeting I was able to really enjoy just learning and spending time with more people. I am really excited about what else is going to happen throughout the rest of the semester.

Well, got two more days without my family here with me, but I needed some ME time definately.

I'm out~

Fabulous!

Today

2006-02-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

Today is the day. Today is Feb 27, 2006. The only Feb 27, 2006 you get. Make the most of it.

Days get harder and harder. One day you think you are finally caught up, but the next day you realize you are now a day behind. School, work, church, friends, babysitting, work, sleep. . . the list just gets longer. I can handle it though.

I am so excited about this summer. As the days keep going, I get more and more excited! I cant wait to see what God has in store for me, or even for all of us that will be there! Great fun!

I am getting ready to leave on a Choir Tour with the CU choir. . . I think I am excited. . .but that may be just because I get to go and travel, and sing, and hang out with people, which all I really like to do. Lets hope it turns out as good as I think it will.

Life is good. Its moving on whether your ready or not. (Key: be ready)

So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 6:34 NLT

Fabulous!

Oh! Crazy Days!

2006-02-23T11:45:00.000-05:00

Lately, every day has been crazier than the one before. When will all this madness end!? No, but for serious. I have been either frusterated or completely overwhelmed everyday for the past 2 weeks. School is frusterating, so is work, and it really is all my fault. Priorities are a little gone, and thats it. Now its just putting them all back together.

Went to interview weekend, and it went pretty good. Met lots of people, got to see some of my friends from the past summer(s), so it definately works. I got hired to work at Caswell, which I am super excited! After going through the interviews and stuff, that one was my favorite. Definately excited that is where I will be spending my summer.

Every day gets longer and harder, but I can go on. I will. I have no choice actually :). Well I guess this is all for now. Just wanted to give a little update!

Fabulous!

Valentines Day

2006-02-14T22:39:00.000-05:00

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

Wow, Valentines day. Crazy isn't it? Good crazy. A fun kind of crazy. I enjoy it. :)

Today while working, I know there were at least 50 vases of flowers delivered to the students. Thats exciting! You know the feeling. . . you find a dozen roses or an assortment of great flowers, and they are for you. From someone special. The faces of the ones who came to pick them up were happy. That inner joy comes out from something as simple as a flower.

I enjoyed my day. I went to my classes and worked, and then babysat the greatest kids in the world, got in yet another big arguement with my sister. . .yeah, I enjoyed my day. But all the same, just another day in the neighborhood.

Interview weekend is this weekend. I am super excited. I get to see one of my favorite people! I just pray it goes well and that I can be placed in a job that will best fit for the plans for the summer.

Well, I guess that is pretty much it. . . living life day to day, trying not to worry about things of the past or things of the future, but just today. Tomorrow, I will think about tomorrow. Life will get better. Just gotta take it one step at a time.

Fabulous!

February

2006-02-02T19:49:00.000-05:00

February. Already. Minor note, Choco Cherry Love is the Blizzard of the month. Just a FYI.

School isn't going too bad. Getting ready for my week of tests.

This past weekend, the UC had the "Spring Choir Retreat". Honestly, I was dreading it OH so much. But I got there, and after singing and playing some games and eating, I really ended up having a good time. This semester with Choir is going to be a lot of fun. I think I make myself crazy about stupid little things.

Coffee and Diet Pepsi get me in trouble. I have become so addicted to caffeine that when I realized I was gaining a little bit of weight, I decided to quit drinking it so much. Well these past few days have been terrible. You never know how addicted to it you get until you stop it for a while. Its pretty bad when you have to drink a cup of coffee just to make it through the day.

I think I am going to skip Valentines day this year. I have had a lot of things on my mind about dating, and I havent been single for soooo long and these past few months have been good and bad. Yeah, its a long process, learning and developing better relationships with my friends that I have messed up before, but I am glad. No dating for right now and fixing my relationship part of my life seems like a good idea.
Anyway. . . Ok so these fellas went swimming in the ocean over new years. . . Yeah, I took pictures, but it was funny. I think at one point I was talking to someone about people actually swimming in the cold ocean. Crazy? Absolutely.

Well I am done for now.

Fabulous!

Round 2

2006-01-18T20:40:00.000-05:00

Spring already. . . my 2nd semester in college. So far everything has gone well. I enjoy pretty much all of my classes, um maybe not one, but the rest of them anyway. Lots to do and to learn, and I have to get back into thinking mode.

New things have come into play since the new year began. Met some pretty fun people. . . got my classes all together. . . enjoyed spending time with great people so far, and I know that there is a lot more that this semester will hold.

I have applied to work at another camp this summer, not Mundo Vista, but Caswell. I sent in a tape for the praise team and everything so we will see how all of that turns out. I will miss Mundo but I think a change will be great. Dont know if that will happen, who knows I could end up at Mundo again, but either way, its gonna be different and fun and it will be worth it.

I have had tons on my mind lately. Lots of things dealing with me, with school, dealing with other people, relationships- all that I have had on my mind before, but now it seems as if it has become more clear that I really need to work on my people skills. . . I guess it would have to be getting called heartless. How can someone truely be heartless?

Makes you think. . . well me anyway. I get angry with things, and I get frusterated with stuff, and I will probably tell you if I get mad, but that shouldnt be a reason to call me heartless. Yeah and I am not very fond of the person that did, however, I still love and care for him like he is my brother, but I really dont like him at all. Yeah, but we are done with that one.

Well I guess this is all for now. . . I will hopefully have time to talk more later. . . Not that anyone cares~ :)

Fabulous!

New Year Already?

2006-01-02T10:06:00.000-05:00

Wow, this past year has gone by so fast! I graduated high school, worked away a summer at a fabulous camp, finally got into school, and then finished my first semester. I just cant believe it!

This past weekend was probably the best ever. I went to a Big God Conference in Myrtle Beach. We left on Friday and got back last night. Fabulous way to spend new years by the way.

It didnt start out a great weekend though. I went with so much on my mind. So much that I felt like I just couldnt handle. It almost put me in this weird quiet mood. (and yeah thats super odd for me).

So much happened though. We had a bunch of music and great bands come and play, and then some fabulous speakers. Each one had a different story and gave a different truth about some things in life. Choices, lies, image, dating, opportunities, and tomato soup.

One weekend that started out being dreaded, became a weekend that gave me a new look on what can happen in my life, what I make of it and how I can't do it on my own.

It is a new year. . . and its going to be a great year.

Yay for Daniel!!

Fabulous

Sarah (say-ruh)

2005-12-27T16:38:00.000-05:00

My cuz is one of my favorite people ever! She came down to spend a few days here in the mad-craziness of my home. She's a Senior at West Bladen and I am trying very hard to talk her into going to Campbell. . . big trouble, as always, but oh it would be so much fun! Yeah. Um. Okay, thats it~

Fabulous!

Exciting! I guess?

2005-12-20T23:36:00.000-05:00

No more coughing, sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes, sore throat. . . etc.

We finally got everything moved into the new building!

New friends! A great week. . . so far!

Exciting things keep happening! I am so ready for Christmas! I would love it to snow! Fall asleep this Christmas, counting your blessings!

We know that trials are good for us-- they help us to endure. Rom 5:3

Fabulous!

The ReMiX

2005-12-11T21:43:00.000-05:00

Generous in love-- God, give grace!
Huge in mercy-- wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I've been,
my sins are staring me down.

You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all,
seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you,
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I've been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you're after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don't look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God;
and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.

Going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Make Zion the place you delight in,
repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.
Then you'll get real worship from us,
acts of worship small and large,
Including all the bulls
they can heave onto your altar!

Psalm 51, the remix.

Fabulous!

2005-12-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

Christmas Funny

Wow, that is hilarious! Even snowman get angry! And I like snowmen~ haha. Desperate times calls for desperate measures!

Fabulous!

Hmmm... I was kinda lost, but I think I got it now.

2005-12-07T22:12:00.000-05:00

Friend Squirt told me that she tagged me and that I needed to copy and paste this to my blog, yeah well it took me a few minutes to figure what she was talking about and then how to get rid of everything except for what I needed to keep. . .hmmm. . .quite interesting acutally!

TEN YEARS AGO - ten years ago, wow, I was 8. .. in two days I would have been 9, so I can guess I was having the time of my life. . . had just gotten off crutches bc of a homeade swing. . . long story!
FIVE YEARS AGO - Okay, 8th grade? All I can really remember is that I met my best friend! Which now doesn't talk to me. . . so not too exciting!
ONE YEAR AGO - I was getting ready to graduate high school. It was the last semester for another good friend of mine, so about this time we were trying to spend as much time together as possible!
FIVE YUMMY THINGS - Mint ice cream, Diet Pepsi with Lime, Milk Duds, Iced tea, hmm... secret...
FIVE SONGS I KNOW BY HEART - Nothin' to Lose, Must Be doin' somethin' Right, Ring of Fire, Build Me Up, buttercup baby. . . and probably tons of others?
FIVE THINGS I WOULD DO WITH A LOT OF MONEY - Save it, get bills paid off, get a better car, share, and then save the rest.
FIVE PLACES I WOULD ESCAPE TO - the beach, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, the beach, and um, the beach.
FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR - underware.. lol, seriously kidding... well almost. A kilt, a shirt that shows my belly, a tux, and who knows?
FIVE FAVORITE TV SHOWS (current) - Gilmore Girls and haven't really had time to watch anything else
FIVE FAVORITE TV SHOWS (legacy) I love lucy, andy griffith, three stooges, full house, and gilligans island
FIVE FAVORITE TOYS - big ball, racecars, Peg game, and who knows?
FIVE PEOPLE WHO GET THIS MEME (in alphabetical order) - I have no idea who reads this, besides Squirt, so if you do, let me know! It is helpful bytheway!

Okay, that was fun!

Fabulous!

Don't worry bout a thing

2005-12-06T12:09:00.000-05:00

Some things are just better not known. . .

Its actually been a pretty interesting week. Exciting and frustrating week. . . Yeah kinda opposites, but it works.

Sometimes you find out very quickly how important some things are. . .Like obviously some relationships. Yeah, frustrating.
Find out that you know 90 % of the questions on the exam, and you feel really good about it at the end. Exciting.
Having to make basically a perfect score to pass the class, frustrating.
Seeing your absofav person 2 nights in a row. . . Exciting.
Sitting in an office with nothing to do but put tickets in the computer, frustrating.
That Diet Pepsi with Lime in the middle of a super long and boring day at work, exciting.
Realizing that your electric bill is due by Noon yesterday, frustrating.
Finding out that your spring semester is already paid for, exciting.

I can't complain. I really already have, but things could be tons worse. I guess when you look at the big picture that I am "good". There isn't too much that I can't be thankful for. . . I'm going through a lot, which is funny because I have heard twice since Sunday that everything that I am going through now is preparing me for something later. That's pretty neat to know that my Maker has something going for me, and that each and every day I do something and make a certain decision that it will help me in what my purpose is in the future. Exciting.

Fabulous!
(Hey look at what time this was posted!)

Something new?

2005-11-30T01:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, I think I am gonna do something different. . . a song. . .

Be Thou my Vision

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son,
Thou in my dwelling and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always.
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won
May I reach heaven's joy, O bright heaven's Son
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O Ruler of all.

**Hymn books make great devotions. Learning where they originated and how each song came about puts a new light on singing each one. Try it. . .makes your worship experience greater!

Fabulous!

Hmmm. Can I do this?

2005-11-22T15:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I am new to this blogging thing, but we will see how it goes.

Its Thanksgiving. A day of TONS of food, fun times with family and friends, and a day set aside for giving thanks. My church does a community Thanksgiving, give away turkey plates to the people around us who are working, every Thanksgiving. Since there is only 3 of us in my fam, we always help out. Its about my 5th or 6th year doing this. Every year it gets better and better. We take plates to all of the convienent store people who are working, grocery store people, those at Wal Mart, and since we live right next to Fort Bragg, we give plates to all of the gate guards.

Well, today I got to go and pass out plates to the gate guards. It was actually pretty exciting. One reason, I got to get to know a new guy that started coming, and he is actually a pretty neat guy. The other reason, we delivered plates for almost 2 hours, and every guard we gave them to smiled, and was almost suprized that we did that. *Yeah, and we got on base without an ID, even though SOMEBODY showed them his every time~. I really had a good time.

My day is finally complete after eating tons, sleeping a bit, watching movies, and having great text-messaging conversations. I truely had an absofabulous Thanksgiving.

Today was pretty exciting. I actually learned a lot. I learned that I am thankful for having family and friends around me. . . that I am not completely alone. . . and that I have an awesome provider who takes care of me. I may not always show how thankful I really am, but wow. Today shows that I should tell those people how thankful I am for them, and what they do, for me and for others. People are great! Friends are great! My fam is oh so great! My Maker, indescribable. I just had a really great day, and I thought I would share that.

Fabulous!