Hmm.
I'm very independent and I like those that respect that.
I don't have to hang out and be around someone 24/7, but I like quality time.
I don't like a phone call every hour to ask what I am doing or where I am.
I like the trust and understanding of two different lives, just headed in the same direction.
I like someone to care about some of the things that I care about, and just listen when I talk about them and just be there when I am happy and not happy to celebrate or just enjoy a cup of coffee with me.
I like a friendship based relationship, not an only person I hang out with all the time kind of relationship.
I love being around lots of people at times, and then sometimes I just like it to be the two of us, and then other times I like to enjoy time alone.
I never had a dad in my life and my mom did a pretty darn good job at raising me, and she is the one I talk to if I need a girlfriend who gives advice and then my sister is the one I talk to when I have something that I need to get fussed at for.
I do pretty good making good and bad decisions, but I do my best to make them and then figure out how I do or don't need to make them again.
I can't cook real well, but I do know how to follow a recipe.
I am a friend to all, and have a lot of guy friends who would do nothing but enjoy company and are very easy going and I want someone who is okay with that and doesn't get jealous over time.
If they do get jealous, then tell me.
Be honest and I will do what I can to fix it.
I like two way relationships, I give, you give, and we work together.
I get frustrated with not doing my best and that works for me because I want to do better the next time.
I screw up ALL THE TIME and I can't be mad at myself but just get mad enough to fix it the next time.
I want to teach children because I like being creative and have a lot to share and they are the ones who can make a difference, not just in the world, but in their own personal lives.
I don’t like eating things I don’t like. If I want to try something new, I will. Just don’t push it.
There are things that I like to talk about and things that I just don’t want to talk about.
You know. . . I was writing this to tell a friend what I really am like, and what I want. It’s funny because as I was writing it, I was thinking about the things that make up ME. What I am, what I want, what I do, it all makes up, me.
I wonder why it takes almost a life changing decision that I have thought about making for so long and then finally got up the nerve in my stomach to say what I wanted to say. I hurt myself, I hurt someone else, and I had a hard time figuring out what really made me say what I wanted to say. It reminds me of Charlotte, from SATC, where she finally tells Mr. Big what she has wanted to say, what she has rehearsed in her mind over and over again, and it makes her feel good outside, but on the inside, she really thought that was hurtful and not fair for his feelings. I feel like that is what I did . . . but I know it is what I wanted. I want time. I want to meet new people and get to know them. I don’t want to end a relationship completely, but I do want to take the time to get to know me again . . . build my relationships internally again and then even build up my life to where I am at least okay with it. I’m not saying it’s over. . . I am not saying it’s still going. I just know that what I want, I have to look for. I will find it, whether it is today, next week, a month from now, or in August. I want time. I think time will help me find me again, and get through all of these crazy things I have started and not finished in my life. I want to find the help I need to close doors and then open others. It’s true. Life alone is wasted . . . but life with people isn’t worth it if you aren’t happy with yourself.
I graduate in December. I have one more week of classes before I intern in august. I am at a really tough time in my life, and the one thing I want most right now is to find me.
Life is a journey. Family makes it great; friends and family make it greater. I have a Maker who I want to be pleased with me . . .
Special thanks to those who helped me write this. Yeah, you don't know who you are. ;)
Fabulous!
